Christmas is a Time to Love.

My thoughts have been with R the past few days. Not because I want him here with us for the holidays, but because I was wondering if he has once again lost touch with God. It seems that way. So this morning, as he got ready to leave for his parents' place (he visited the kids), he asked where we (the kids and I) were celebrating Christmas. So I named the hotel where we're supposed to have Christmas Dinner with my dad's extended family.

Then around 4pm, R calls home to ask again. I initially thought nothing of it until tonight, when of all people, who do I see, but her. Yes, I came face to face with the one.

My thoughts quickly took a U to my earlier conversations with R. So I gave him a call and asked if he was at the hotel as well, and told him who I just saw. He yells at me (curses even) and tells me to stop bringing up the past. Well, I was just wondering. :P

So it could've been coincidence. But I so wanted to go up and introduce myself. But thought better. ;) Besides, Christmas is a time to love. Love your enemies, God says in His word. So yea, I chose to let it pass. Consider it my Christmas gift to you, yes you. I know you read this blog. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I love the smell of Christmas! Can you feel the Spirit? It's in the air! I apologize for the blog hiatus. Been really busy at work, school activities, Christmas shopping (teehee), new business, reunions, parties, etc. I've said it before, but I definitely need more hours in a day (don't we all?).

So in case I don't get to blog by the holidays, let me say this now:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

May the Lord bless our families.

May He hold our hands through every joyful (or sorrowful) thing.

May He be our strength when we are weak.

And may He hold us up when we are down.

He will never, never fail.

I pray for healing.

I pray for restoration.

I pray for peace.

I pray for renewal...

for true and lasting joy. :)

Christmas Break

The days flew by now, didn't they? We're down to our last 2 days before Christmas, and the hustle and bustle doesn't seem to end. A and I went shopping (again!) yesterday, and stayed out 'til way past midnight. I am finally done with my Christmas list (although my brother insists that I will never get done with it, just so I'd have an excuse to shop some more)!

The past weeks' schedule was packed to the brim. And the next coupl'a days are no different. We're heading out to the "homeland" on Christmas Day, so we need everything ironed out before that happens. The last time I was "home" was back in September, and we all know what ruined that vacay. Harhar.

The baby turned one two weeks ago. No party this year, but maybe a joint party for him and A early next year. Pays to be practical, especially since expenses on a single income is no joke. R didn't even bother showing up for his son's birthday. No gift either. Which says so much about his kind. He called to greet him, but yea, whatever. I expected less, in fact, so he didn't disappoint. He now sees the kids on an average of once a week, 10 minutes tops. I don't know why he even bothers. It's not like 10 minutes will give you quality time, especially when all he ever does is nag about this and that.

He came over Sunday, and gave A a gift for Christmas. A, being the impatient not-so-little girl, opened her gift as soon as she saw it under the tree and found two 100-peso plush toys from the Tiangge. Although she appreciates even the simplest gift (she loves the 10-peso stalls over at the ilog in Marikina and in Tutuban's Night Market), she took one look and asked out loud why her dad asked her what she wanted but got her something she didn't even want (she gave him a list of options). "Maybe he doesn't have enough money", I said. "But Mommy, he has new shoes!", A retorted with a frown. Trust a disappointed kid to notice details.

~~~

I know I promised a contest for Christmas, but I have tons to do before I leave, so I will post the new contest when I get back.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!

Last Minute Shopping Woes

Something always happens in December. That something always gets in the way of Christmas shopping. This year is no exception. I had concerts to go to, a wedding, and tons of other events. So just when I thought I had 90% of my Christmas shopping done, my daughter comes to me yesterday and says she wants to give gifts to this and that person. So more shopping to do. And no... no time to head to Divi for bulk gifts. And no, I do not wish to drive all the way to World Trade for more of the World Bazaar. The last time I was there with my nannies (last thursday), they did the shopping while I babysat the little ones. :P

So today, in a rush to get out of the house to get to school in time for program practice, we left A's gift for her exchange gift. So I thought it'd be wise to get a gift from nearby Crossings to avoid the maddening Christmas Rush crowd. After finally choosing a gift and waiting for the lone third floor cashier to fix her receipt roll, I headed to the gift wrap area (they were offering free wrapping service for any purchase) to get the gift wrapped. I watched the lady wrap gift after gift, until it was my gift's turn to get wrapped. She chose a ready-made wrapper for my gift, stuffed it in, stapled the top close, and took a pair of sheers to trim the flap. Voila! It was ugly gift wrapping, let me tell you (I had no time to take a picture). So to that I asked, "Is that how you really wrap the gifts?" And she looked at me funny, like I had no right asking that dumb question. I reiterated with "I mean, I know it's free service, but it sure looks like bad service." And she shrugs and says, "Style yan, ma'am."

Obviously, she had no good style to speak of. I think about corporate image and wonder what the owners don't know. You just missed out on a good opportunity to project an image worthy of your store. Instead, you give out cheap service that says "Our store does not care if the packages are flimsy, or if your gift wrap's lopsided as long as it says Christmas at Crossings. Message got across. Who cares about image."

Next time, I'm doing my last minute shopping at Rustan's.

Happy Birthday, Poohbear!

*sniff* A year went by so fast. Too fast. The baby is now officially a year old. *sigh* How I love him so. :)

Realizations

Today, as I sat in the movie theater at Rockwell waiting for Planet 51 to start, I found my thoughts drifting off to thoughts I've pushed aside. Call it denial, but I found it was easier to pretend than deal with issues head on.

The truth is, I am tired of wearing the mask I put on every day. But today, as I sat there, I realized that... I am okay. My good friend T, wrote a note on FB today that said so much about how important it is to belong to circles where friends accept you for who and what you are, where you don't need to pretend to be who you aren't. Simply because, well, there are people around you who value you as you are, flaws and all. If there are a handful who don't, then it's their problem, not yours.

I belong to a family of different strokes, but does it matter that we are different? That's what makes us special!

So today, I realized a lot of things. One of them being it is okay to be in my shoes. Besides, they are big shoes to fill. Not everyone can live my life. I mean, go ahead and try. Moreover, I realized that it is okay to be living the life I have. It is okay even if things aren't perfect. It is the imperfections that polish us - that mold us into beings we are set out to be. The trials, the circumstances are what prepare us for the end of the road.

As I type this, I realize that it is sad how some people cannot accept the facts the way they are. That some people prefer to make issues out of plain things. That circumstances are made to appear bigger than what they really are. And it is doubly sad that some people cannot see the beauty of transparency. That a lot of people in this world prefer to be with those who don't know the real 'you'. If you have to build up yourself to make yourself acceptable, then where is your real value? How sad is that?

So it does not matter that my marriage isn't perfect. That my family is not intact. No one can judge me for that. Circumstances brought me here. It is the way I deal with the circumstances, the way I carry myself in spite of the circumstances that matter. No, it doesn't mean I should wear the mask and pretend I am better than it. It means, even if I falter and cry, get angry and frustrated, freak out and break down, or even if I choose to just laugh it off...

I am okay.

Binatog

I've been having this incessant craving for Binatog lately. Yes, I go all the way to Tiendesitas just to get myself a bowl. It is so much a craving that I have been pestering friends and officemates for the recipe, to no avail. I've learned that Binatog is a dying delicacy, and the original recipe is lost to the 'thunders' generation of this world. Nyar.

Do you know how to make Binatog? I like it with grated coconut, sugar and condensed milk. My friend S likes it with salt. My obsession with it led me to pry and actually ask the man selling it where they get the boiled white corn. "May supplier po kami," he politely replied. "So Manong, how do you make it?"

"Secret!" He says with a smile.

Ah! Binatog! Why are you so addicting? My craving for Binatog is reminiscent of the Brazo de Mercedes addiction I had a few weeks back. Grrrr.

Must.Stop.Eating.Junk.

Blog Holiday

Yes, I was on a blog holiday. I had too much to do, and so little time. My friends and I are setting up a new biz - that's in between everything else on my list of things to do. And the clincher to my past two weeks is... my nanny, who only officially found out she was pregnant on November 1, gave birth (yes! gave birth, as in full-term gave birth!) to her second-born last Sunday!!! That's 5 days after her first-born's first birthday. Talk about fast. So yes, I am still in a daze. I guess it's a good thing she went on her day-off Saturday afternoon, or I'd be freaking out figuring out what to do.

Our baby will be a year old (yes, my nanny and I were pregnant at the same time last year) in a few days. I can't believe how fast time flies! We won't have a party this year, but a joint party some time next year when A turns 8. Hard times call for practical measures, besides, I'd be inviting the same group of friends.

I have a busy week ahead, with two events to cap the week. I have no idea how I'll survive. So many things have happened in the weeks that passed, with an old fuddy trying to get his way in my life. (Excuse me, I am NOT your daughter!) And sad stories about how old friends have made me the choice topic for their reunions, talking about something that happened 18 years ago! My goodness! Some people have to learn how to move on! But at least now I know who my real friends are. ;)

I don't know when I'll be back to my regular blog sched. But I have a Christmas raffle in store for you guys.

In the meantime, There are 24 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! Are you done with your Christmas Shopping? I am halfway through my list. :P Nyar.