i think i made a big mistake by telling S. it's not that i do not wish to share my problems with her, but she is my good friend and she'll always look out for my best interest above all. true enough, the first thing she said was "leave." :(
i don't want to be discouraged. i know that that seems like the best thing to do right now. but i just don't see that as what God wants me to do. already, i don't want her to know the rest of the story... a little snippet here and there has already convinced her that i am better off without my problems. true, my problems are big and i never even imagined that these would happen to me. but see, it's not like i haven't been praying and asking God for direction. His word is so clearcut. true, He doesn't want me suffering. following God's will doesn't mean i have to be abused (well, S used that word). but my resolve really is to stay. and God's pointing me this way too. i am so sure of it. i told S that i appreciated her concern. i know she did not tell me to leave so that i will be discouraged in my resolve to save the marriage. i know she loves me and wants what's best for me. but so does God. and i know i will be victorious one day. i told S that one day, i am sure she will come back to me and proclaim God's glory. right now, we just have to wait and see.
~~~
this came in through my gmail today. i am amazed at how God is speaking to me.
DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE?
"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to
her will be accomplished!" Luke 1:45
How many times a week do you battle doubt and unbelief coming against you in believing that your marriage is NOT going to be restored? How many times do you doubt that your spouse will ever change or accept Jesus Christ as Savior? How many times a week do you cry out to your Lord, asking if you are following Him on the right road headed to marriage restoration as you go through so many trials with your spouse? Are you thinking, "It look so hopeless in the natural?"
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly
rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the
will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35
Every time doubt, fear, despair or hopelessness comes into your thoughts or your mind, remember that you are fighting for your spouse, for your children and for future generations of marriages. Will you pray that all marriages will be healthier and stronger in the Lord? Pray that God will stomp out divorce in the United States and around the world. The difference is going to made by one family member at a time, one church at a time, not giving into divorce, but standing up for the sanctity and permanence of marriage. Yes, your family, friends and coworkers may not understand your sacrifice, but did everyone believe what Noah, Moses, Abraham, Deborah, Nehemiah, Joseph, Mary or Paul were doing during their assignment?
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and
female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So
they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate." Mark 10:6-9
I believe with all my heart that your Lord has been speaking to you in regard to standing in the gap for your spouse. Your Lord God wants you to believe and pray for your marriage and for all prodigal spouses who have fallen into the trap believing that their divorce is acceptable in God's eyes. Your spouse has become deceived and blinded believing in the world's standards of marriage, but on judgment day, we will all find out that God's Word and way is the only way. You can make a difference every day just as our ministry has made a difference for so many years, one spouse, one family at a time, standing for their marriage forever!
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