Life Goes On

Some of you have misunderstood my crying to grieving for R and all that he's done. But my tears from the other night were not for him. And mind you, I haven't really cried in months. I cried because it hit me that this has affected everyone in my family. My parents are supportive but I know they hurt for me. My siblings are angry, but mostly because the kids will someday find out about this ugly mess. When I revived my blog two or so weeks ago, I had no idea this was gonna happen. I celebrated peace at home. My kids were happier. So like you, this caught me by surprise.

My blog, although on public view, was initally meant for my friends. Then I shifted to notes on Multiply and Facebook, and left this blog. Two weeks ago, I felt the need to revive this blog. And no, I had no idea about what happened when I started writing on this again. I didn't know this will make it to the news (I am actually quite embarrassed that it did).

So now, all of a sudden, my blog is pushed into the limelight. Martyr, foolish, stupid, etc. These words are synonymous to my name today. My blog is plastered on forums, on commentaries... even my name (in full!) is mentioned (talk about attempting to go anonymous, LOL!). :P Opinions and insinuations are judged. Ay-a! I don't blame you if you hate me by now. Nope, I don't blame you. Even my best friend, G, stopped talking to me when I decided to stand for my marriage years ago. So no, I expect you all to hate me. And yes, I expect and accept the mockery.

Thought bubble: It's funny how one judges a person's intentions without fully knowing the person or a person's full predicament.

You know, it is so easy to say what you think I should do. I can join the bandwagon and get myself justice. But what good will that do? What is justice to you? The only thing I want now is for this to end. I am not part of the equation. Sure, this blog played a part, but it has served its purpose. It is time to move on.

So! This will be my last post on the matter. As I've said, life in my household goes on. I've decided to see the good in this situation and nothing else. I will not allow the media to further make a circus out of my family (yes, I know I am partly to blame because my blog says a lot about R and his womanizing, but just so you know, the warnings were not to spite the women, but to let them know what they got themselves into). If you all think that is foolish, then let it be so. I think it is the best decision I've made.

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I was so happy to have found free wifi at the hotel lobby. So happy I forgot to have lunch. LOL!

I am missing the kids. I don't see them again 'til end of next week. This is actually the first time for me to leave the baby for this long a time. :( But according to J, he slept through the night and looked for his dog pillow first thing when he woke up this morning. Our baby is growing too fast! Sigh.