Not sure how long I'll be out for Holy Week, so before I become incommunicado, let me greet y'all a HAPPY EASTER!

~~~

I received GREAT NEWS today. Yes, after staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning, talking to God and thinking about life and finances, God answered my prayer. I will not go into details now, but I will let you all know once things have been finalized.

God is an awesome, awesome, AWESOME God! He will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us. I know that by heart, especially after today's surprise.

"If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:30 - 34)

What has God done for you today?

The Trust Issue

Before you continue reading this post, let me make a disclaimer. I am not writing because I have a current issue on Trust with R. I am writing from experience. No sermons please!

One of the many issues I've had to consider in my relationship with R is the lack of trust. Not that I didn't trust him when we first got together, but... well, you all know what I mean. Now that I look back to the time when he was still my boyfriend, I can now say that there were warning signs there. I suppose I was just too blind to see. I remember once, during a routine visit to Makro Davao, one of the canvassers there (who used to work under me in Manila) approached me and said "hindi ok ang reputation nya dito, Ma'am". And I just shrugged it off.

You see, R practically worshiped the ground I walked on, and all that time, I felt I was the prettiest woman alive. Really! Ha! Heck, I knew he was a hundred times prettier, but I felt really loved and adored. He took care of me. I now see that it was probably his M.O. - the way he'd fool women to think they were "the one and only." Haay, how naive of me!

I remember that a few years into our marriage, when he came home from Qatar, I found pictures of him with this girl JM (hmmm, maybe I should write about his other women... that should be interesting! Don't you agree, DN-S?!). She was a flight attendant for Qatar Airways. That was the only time R ever apologized for being with another girl. The many affairs after, he either denied, called them ugly or pretended like he didn't care. Ok, ok, so I was stupid. At least I can say I've been there and done that, right? Nyar.

But yea, the marriage just broke into pieces after the first incident. My trust just crumbled, and although I was working on rebuilding the trust, I just wasn't really able to. Ah! I still remember those nights when I'd follow his car. He used to drive a yellow Civic which was pretty easy to spot. How pathetic that I did that, no? And who can forget those times I'd try to catch him with someone or find something he had hidden! Nyar. It wasn't fun. I can tell you as much. And I know better now.

So what brought on this post? Nothing much. I was just having merienda with one of my friends and she was telling me how she'd openly check her hubby's mobile phones for any signs of womanizing. Every. Single. Night. A trust issue brought about by a recent breech of trust. How can one live like that no? I reflect on my past behavior and I can only shudder. One of the main ingredients to a healthy marriage is trust. You lose it, you lose one of the foundations you had built your relationship on.

R wasn't a great liar (he still isn't one). But I am a good actress. I can pretend everything is fine and dandy. I can wear a mask everyday, if I must. But I cannot lie to myself. I knew it in my heart that the charade had to stop, I was just too scared to take the first step.

Today, I am happier. I look back and I still feel sad it had to end the way it did, because I really did feel loved and I knew we had something great there. But this had to happen because trust never made it back to the marriage. He lies like there isn't a God, and it's just too much. I may have been stupid before, but that was because love masked my doubts.

I look at others who are currently in the same situation I was in, and I want to shout "wake up!" or "use your head." I am not saying one should give up on a marriage without trust. All I am saying is Trust is essential. You both have to want to work on it. In R's case, he obviously didn't care. It reached a point where I was resigned to the fact that he was a womanizer and I just didn't care, too. In the years that we were together, I sacrificed a lot for the marriage - thinking of my kids and family. But how does one go on living with someone who only thinks of himself? How I wished he'd ask for forgiveness then and worked on rebuilding whatever trust was lost! But no. He just didn't care if I trusted him or not. That was when I knew it was time for goodbye.

Lesson learned, I guess.

my|phone QWERTY INVASION 3!

QWERTY INVASION 3! my|phone invites you to the much awaited part 3 of the my|phone QWERTY Invasion at Metrowalk, Ortigas, Pasig City on March 30, 2010 from 3:00pm to 2:00am of March 31, 2010. Bring in your working and non-working bar phone plus P2,990 to avail of the hottest qwerty phone in town - the my|phone Q22duo Pinoy phone. Cool!



The Q22duo is originally P3,990. Bring an old and/or broken phone and get P1,000 off. Great enough a deal for you? :)

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Much Ado about the Crocs Mega Sale.

It's that time of the year again. And no, I don't mean the interim between cool, holiday weather and hot, humid summer. Nope, more like it is time once again for the annual Crocs Mega Sale.

(NOTE: I accidentally deleted a long paragraph here last night, while trying to edit in a photo while half asleep. Nyar. I shall attempt to re-write.)

Citibank hosted Wednesday's special preview to this year's sale. Because I had to be at AIM for a meeting Wednesday morning, I missed most of the first day of the annual madness called the Crocs Mega Sale (hihihi). Unlike last year where I took a leave from work to be one of the first in line, I had no choice but to try my luck at 45 minutes before 6pm. A and I walked to Mega Tent from our condo, since traffic was terrible on Meralco Avenue. As expected, the line snaked all the way around Mega Tent. My friends G and J were there 3 hours before I got there, and they just got in a few minutes before I arrived. Then I had to fall in line for another hour (you had to be within Mega Tent's premises by 6pm as they closed the gates then but allowed people to shop 'til 10pm). Good thing I saw Pastor L and whiled away the time talking to him about this and that. I was expecting chaos inside, and true enough, stocks were a mess and the lines to the cashiers were long! I spent a good 20 minutes looking for those Watermelon Malindis, to no avail. :( Well, none in my size. Or maybe I just gave up looking because people were crazy digging through mountains of shoes. Ha! Man, the place was packed! So I ended up empty-handed. :(

I did, however, get a pair of HSM Crocs for A, and had G pay for it, since J's mom-in-law was four customers away at the cashier for senior citizens. Nope, no time to shop since I had to be in another meeting in QC at 8pm. So that was it. I made a mental note to head back the next day and look for a nice pair for the little boy.

Yea, right. The next day, the City of Pasig padlocked the gates to Mega Tent mid-afternoon. People lining up outside the premises were turned away. Apparently, the organizers failed to secure the proper permits to operate that massive a sale in the city of Pasig. When I arrived to check out the lock-down at 5pm (Oh yes, I made usi, hehe), the guards couldn't give a decent explanation as to why they weren't letting anyone in, when obviously, there was still a crowd shopping inside the tent. Some lock-down! I would have thought that when a business is deemed to be violating business laws, a lock-down would have meant a complete cease in operations. But no, Crocs still accomodated the few hundreds of people who were already within the premises.

BUT! They failed to address the maddening crowd OUTSIDE the gates. They left that to the guards. Guards of Mega Tent, who were merely following orders, but who were rude to those waiting outside. And yes, they couldn't explain what was really happening, until policemen came to hang the banner that says they closed the venue because organizers failed to secure the right permits to operate. Nyar.

Why didn't anyone from Crocs face their customers? The ones who took the day off, half the day off, clocked out early, etc.? Why'd they leave the explaining to those who weren't even under their employ? They could've sent out their PR person, their marketing manager, anyone! Anyone who could release an official statement from Crocs. There were babies and kids outside the gates! Oh Crocs, you could've done better!

And to top it off, people were wondering why customers (who were already inside) were still allowed to shop. I mean, you're supposed to stop operations when you get a lock-down order, right? I guess management was able to negotiate a leeway for those who fell in line all day. Imagine the chaos if those people were made to leave after enduring at least two hours in line under the sun. But again, no one from Crocs bothered to say anything to those outside wondering why the lock-down wasn't quite the lock-down.

At 6pm, the guards started telling everyone that they were not letting people in because it was past 6, leaving out the part about the lock-down. Which pissed a number of angry customers waiting outside the gates since 4pm... One guard with the surname Cleofe, played his power trip so well, he irked a lot of women (what a power tripper he was). He only got back my respect when he turned away a va-va-voom girl in short-shorts. ;) John-D, you have power-tripping, YET honest guards! LOL! You must give this guard Cleofe a raise! Or tell your agency to... Hehe.

Today, on their facebook account, Crocs apologized and announced that their Mega Sale hours will be extended until 8pm through Sunday, March 21.

Hmmm... maybe I should go give the Sale another try... Ha!

~~~

EDIT: I did go back today (Saturday). I got to Mega Tent at 830am, only to find out they weren't letting customers in 'til 10am. As in, customers were lined up OUTSIDE the venue's gates -- on Meralco Avenue, beside the traffic, exposed to sun and smog. :P What's worse is that they weren't letting any of the cars in either! I had to circle the area twice to see if I could find parking nearby, only to be disappointed since St. Paul was holding their graduation rites and the streets were packed as well. So I dropped everyone off, and parked the car at home. I walked back. Defeats the purpose of having a huge parking lot at the venue when you can't even park there. They did let cars go in at 10am. But nyar.

Prices of some items were reduced from Wednesday's prices. So I was able to get a few pairs of the children stock. No luck with the women shoes, they either had size 4 or the gigantic ones left. I was so tempted to get a gold pair of Olivias (I saw a pair in my size lying around near the cashiers) but decided to let it pass. Who needs a ton of Crocs anyway? :P

2nd EDIT: So. It turns out that Mega Tent was the one lacking in this case. They forgot to renew their permits! All this time, I was thinking "wow, ang galing naman ng mga guards mo, John-D." When they acted out of duty because you were the ones at fault! Sigh.

:(

I had such a busy and stressful day. :( *sniff!*

Hang Hinit!

A has been complaining about the heat a lot lately. I can't blame her. It is hot. So hot that we had to use our airconditioning unit almost every night last week. Good thing it rained over the weekend, so we had a reprieve.

We've resorted to different ways to keep cool. It is a blessing that we live on the 10th floor where the breeze comes in better. We open our door to the corridor so it gets really windy. Oh, and did I mention that the center of our condo building is hallow, such that we get a lot of fresh air in our units? The corridors are open and overlook the swimming pool, so yes, cool.

A has been swimming again lately. She used to swim everyday, until her hair turned brittle from all that chlorine. We never really taught her how to swim. A is self-taught, but is a pretty good swimmer. So much so that she can out-swim R with her underwater stunts and dives.

My little boy, on the other hand, doesn't appreciate the pool. I have to be in the pool, swimming with him. Otherwise, no deal. It doesn't matter, I suppose. He loves the water, nonetheless. We just have to limit it to mini inflatable pools and bathtubs, I guess.

How are you beating the heat?

School's Out!

Well, technically... we still have about a week to go 'til A's Moving Up Day program, but yea, no more pencils, no more books... Woohoo!

A has been bugging me about her summer activities. I'm thinking of sending her to reading class (she was quick to object, of course!). I remember how my brother and I had to endure several summers at Reading Dynamics. Yes, deprivation of summer fun. And yet, each time I look back, I really don't mind, because those classes helped me survive school. I'm thinking of art classes as well. But since A's school won't be having summer programs this year, I might as well prepare those art projects myself. Hmmm... have to find ways to keep the soon-to-be 8 year-old busy. Ay-yah!

I'm helping out A's school in a fund-raising activity. We're putting up a school book and video library for the coming school year. So far, we have a number of commitments. Yey! But we still need help! If you are handling a brand that caters to the kid market, ages 2-14, leave me a note and I shall send you a proposal.

Meanwhile, I am thankful that the past 2 days have been breezy. I was melting from the heat early this week! But I'm excited that summer is here. Thinking about hitting the beach with the kids.

What are your summer plans?

Nanny Woes

I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but I found a new nanny for my little boy. Nothing to celebrate though, because she isn't much of a nanny. :P Just 8 days here and my little one has a bruise on his cheek and a big bump on his brow. Two separate incidents under her care. She has no focus (stares at the telly when it's on, etc) and cannot catch up with my son, who loves to run around and explore.

So yesterday, I've decided that I will just let her go. Will I compromise my son's safety by settling for someone who can't even keep an eye on him? I think not! I know there is no perfect nanny, but still, I cannot imagine how I will be at peace knowing my son is left alone with her all day. Nyar. She is still with me, however, because today, I had to convince my other nanny (the one who wanted to leave to continue her schooling) to stay with us 'til R turns two (she agreed! Thank you, God!). Besides, her plans are still unsure, and she still has to raise the money.

So I made arrangements with my aunt's friend, who just happens to be in need of a helper, if she'd take over and hire the new nanny. My problem now is how to tell the new nanny that I've decided to let her go. I've never done this before. So tell me... how do you break the news? When do you break the news? Do I tell her now? Do I tell her Sunday (her new employers will pick her up on Monday)? Or Monday?

Also, I paid for her fare, since she came from the province. Do I deduct it from her salary (hmmm, I don't think it is even enough to cover fare expenses)? I was planning to just let it pass and still give her her salary (kawawa naman). She's nice anyway, although I may not be a good judge of character since I am not home during the day. Haaay... help!

What would you do?

What's For Brunch?

Was pleased to find that our helper made me a salad for lunch today. I couldn't help but check it out once I got to the office. Mmmmm... Mixed Greens with Arugula, Tomatoes, Grapes and grated Queso de Bola! And the best part is, she remembered to use the new Clara Ole Vinaigrette I brought home the other day! When having greens with Arugula, the My, My Parmesan! Vinaigrette works best. Nom! Needless to say, lunch became brunch. I am most satisfied. :)

*Sorry, didn't bring a decent camera to work today. Used my phone cam once again. ;)

What did you have for lunch today?

Still Dreaming

So yesterday, we spent the afternoon checking out my parents' new house. They've lived in a condo for the past 18 or so years, so finding a new house to call home is a blessing. We were looking at their guestroom, when I joked "Why'd you put twin beds? We won't fit."

"Who says you're moving in with us?", my mom retorts.

"Oh." I said.

Oh. And here I was hoping I could move back in for a few years so I can save up for a place of my own. In fact, we've discussed it a couple of times.

I guess my mom noticed the disappointment in that one-syllable word she got out of me, because today, over the phone, she gave me a lengthy sermon. One which drove me to tears. Apparently, our past discussions on how I can move back in for a couple of years was all a joke. "You very well know that you have too much stuff. You think you can fit all that in that little guestroom?" Argh.

So now I sit here in front of my laptop, pondering on that dream list I've had for quite some time now. (Actually, the one that tops that list now is to get over hell week this week. A left her math book in school today and it was too late when I found out, and too late to go retrieve it. So, yes, please let her pass tomorrow's math exam, and I'm good. LOL!)

Seriously, I wrote about my dream list for the new year, but missed out on the one thing holding me back from achieving most of those on that list - debt. I am in debt. Drowning, really, but still afloat. And only because I am alone in all these (commitments made during the time R was still here are now burdens left for me to carry). But yes, there are others in far-worse situations, I know. So yes, sometimes I wallow in self-pity and I can't help it. I can't help dwelling on the "if-onlys" and the "what-ifs". And please spare me the sermon, because I've already hit myself silly on the head.

Really, I understand where my mom is coming from. I am not her responsibility anymore. I am married with a family of my own. I don't want to burden my folks any more than I already have. But the issue she brought up was self-pity, and she knows how touchy the subject was. As much as I would have wanted to come across as strong, I just couldn't help but feel bad for myself and for my kids... (There is a lot more to this retelling, and I will keep that to myself.) It's just sometimes, things are easier said than done.

But yes, Mom. One day, I will get out of this rut. Right now, my dreams are still dreams, but then, at least the dream's still alive. I am not giving up! I will work towards achieving them and I will make you proud. Sometimes though, you just need to humor me. Because it just isn't easy being in my shoes.

Dreams are Free

What's that one dream you've always had, but knew would never happen ever? Know what mine is? Well, it's to be a housewife. Yea, sure, you may think it as shallow but what could be the most perfect thing in the world? Ah! To stay home with the kids and while away the day reading books, homeschooling (!) and watching cartoons. :)

Seriously, it is my dream.

However, circumstances force me to work. No, scratch that. Circumstances force me to slave away. Even my mom says I overwork myself, going from work to sideline to raket and so on. What can I do? Someone has to provide! Now judging from my current marital status, that dream seems farther and farther away. Ok, so maybe I could be a work-at-home mom, but you know what? I think I've drained myself of any will to work. Hahaha!

Alright, maybe a work-at-home mom. :)


What's up your dream sleeve?

Ora Mix Mo!

A has been on this rice frenzy lately. Just over dinner, she exclaims: "I Love Rice!" So I looked over and checked her plate. Brown Rice. Except it's not naturally brown-brown. But brown because it is Beef Steak Rice.

I haven't had rice in a while since I've been trying to cut down lately to lose the Holiday Weight. So I was surprised to see our helpers making instant flavored rice. Beef Steak Rice for A, and Bagoong Rice for the rest. Yes, instant flavored rice! Easy-as-pie with Clara Ole's Ora Mix Mo. I brought home packs from the office coop after Christmas and forgot all about it.

But wahhh, Bagoong Rice! And the best part? No MSG! That's what I love about Clara Ole!

Needless to say, I just had to take a couple of tablespoons and NOM! Maybe I can forget about that diet just this once. :)

Privacy

I realized that when Facebook switched to the new FB Layout, a couple of my albums' privacy settings switched to "Share to Everyone". Which made me cringe at the idea that my "stalkers" saw pics of the family. LOL!

Hence... For all you stalkers out there, I shall post a pic. :) Have a nice day!

This is what makes me happy. Ok, ok... it's an old pic. But yeah. :)

What about you? What makes you happy?