#MommaDiaries | FATHER'S DAY (Part One)

And just like that, Father's Day came and went. This year, the kids went about the day without much reference to their absentee father. And although we were pretty busy that day with family activities plus a BentoMommas workshop at Rustan's, I must admit I didn't encourage any form of reaching out. I mean, we've done all the reaching out in the past. Now if this man truly wanted to spend time with his kids on the day fathers are celebrated, his efforts would go beyond that one missed call.

I can hear my MIL telling me "Ikaw naman, pakipot ka pa. Tumawag naman pala, di mo lang sinagot." But see, I've gone through this several times in the past. He'd call. I'd answer. He'd promise. We'd believe. He'd show up late. He'd fall short (insert all other disappointments here). We'd compromise. He'd go home. And then silence. Nothing. No calls. No text messages. Repeat cycle after two weeks or whenever he feels like it.

After going through the same cycle for the past 6 years, A is finally fed up. She doesn't even think of sending her dad a greeting. When he sent the usual "balita?" text Saturday night, she replied with a spam text she copied from a spam message we received earlier that day. "He keeps sending us the same one-liner, it's irritating. Doesn't he have anything else to say?" Yup, you can't fool a teenager. My 13-year-old knows better.

RL, on the other hand, still doesn't know what he's missing. Or maybe... he just doesn't miss anything at all. At Kid's Church, the kids were tasked to make a Father's Day card. I have often wondered what RL would do if he came across a situation where he would be asked about his dad or anything of the sort. After church, he came bouncing happily with a card addressed to "Angkong" (grandfather in Fookien/ Chinese). He proudly showed me that he even signed it from "K, A and RL."

That evening, on the way home from Rustan's, I waited if one of them would ask to call their dad to greet him. One block away from the house, I finally asked in case they were waiting on my go signal. But RL was quick to answer with "No. I already greeted Angkong a 'Happy Father's Day'. I also greeted Jesus. Because today, He is my daddy, because He is the One taking care of me."

"A Father to the Fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5 NIV 

Honoring Dad

Today is Father's Day. 

Yesterday, while checking on my plants, my neighbor CC gave me a "Happy Father's Day" greeting. I never really discuss my personal life with my neighbors, but yes, of course they know I am both mom AND dad to my kids. They haven't seen R around, after all. Besides, the fact that R and I aren't together isn't really much of a secret - not to my neighbors, friends, relatives... (the whole world, maybe?).

The greeting did catch my attention and got me thinking about my situation. If it is difficult for me to tackle parenting alone, it must be equally, if not more, difficult for others. I am blessed to have a support system - people who stand by me to help with parenting, advice, etc. I am also blessed to have men stand in as father figures to my kids.

Today, I want to take this opportunity to thank and honor all of these men who have been like fathers to my children.

TO MY FATHER IN HEAVEN
Lord, You are the best Father anyone could ever have. I thank You for providing for all our needs. For never failing to be there for us through thick and thin. You have been so good to us. Truly, only You could fill the void in our hearts and You fill it to the brim! Thank You for being Father, when earthly fathers fail to be present. You love us unconditionally and You keep my kids under Your wing - the best place to be! I love You, Lord! Happy Father's Day!

TO MY DAD
When I was in the US for 12th Grade, I was asked by Mrs. Stetkevich to write down the names of the 3 people I look up to the most. On that workbook, I wrote your name first. I know I don't say it much, but I love you, Dad. I know you care about me, and I will never forget those times when you prayed for me, defended me, stood up for me, and taught me about God. I want you to know how much I appreciate how you sent KY to school, how you provided for all her needs - even when you didn't have to. You have always loved my kids! And although sometimes, I wish I was Daddy's Little Girl again, I am blessed that you chose my kids to take my place! You will always be my first love. Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

TO MY BROTHER, KM
You have been like an older brother to me. LOL! Yes, even if I am really older by a few years. My kids are blessed to have you in their life. You pamper them and buy them toys (the expensive ones! Haha!) and you don't count them as owed favors (best thing about you! and me, hahaha!). You bought A her first iTouch, and gave RL his first pair of Nikes! You don't know how much I appreciate that. And appreciate YOU. You travel and get them the most expensive toy on their shopping list. Please don't change. LOL. Thank you for doting on them like they were your own. I promise to shower your future kids with equal love (and toys!). I will be the best aunt ever! Thank you for being there for A. You are her favorite uncle. And thank you for being there for RL, you are not his favorite uncle. LOL! Happy Father's Day, 'Hia!

TO MY BROTHER, KA
Thank you for teaching A how to ride a bike. Happy Father's Day!

LOL! Seriously, remember how I taught you how to read, did all your homework and data files, made all your projects, wrote all your book reports, etc. etc. And you pay me back by being the stingiest uncle ever! Bwahaha! I love you, my baby brother! I can't believe you're all grown up! Where's my baby kendoo, kendoo (wakey, wakey!)? Hahaha! Did I ever tell you how A takes after you? She is (in her own words) "laway-sensitive". Hahaha! And how weird is it that RL looks like he's your kid and not mine? No wonder you're his favorite uncle! When he grows up, he says he wants to be exactly like you. It's a blessing that he has you to look up to. Thank you for making him your favorite nephew - for always looking for him first thing when you visit us (or visit me in the office), for taking care of him when we're out, for carrying him so I can eat meals, for always asking to spend time with him. You make up for a lot of things he doesn't know he's missed. For that, I will always be grateful. You are a blessing. Happy Father's Day!

TO MY KIDS' GODFATHERS
Ninongs, I've been wanting to thank you for taking time out to spend time with my kids. Special shout-outs go to Ninong B, Ninong T, Ninong Blue and to my BIL, Ninong M. Ninong B, I have yet to thank you for being there for A, especially during the first few years of her life. How you took time to help me with A's first birthday party, when really, you didn't have to. You went out of your way to do so. Thanks! Ninong T, I am thankful that you agreed to be RL's godfather. It's heartwarming to see how you've grown to be more my friend than R's and how our families have become close through the years. You and G have been true friends to me, and I can see how much you truly love and care for my family. Thank you for being there for RL (and A). I didn't make a mistake in choosing you. You are a great father, and RL is blessed to have you in his life. Ninong Blue, you took my invitation to be godfather to RL so seriously from the start. I can see why your family is hesitant to see you get married. You dote on those you love. Thank you for always taking time out to be with us. I know I've said this before, but my whole family loves you! You have been very kind, and you really go out of your way to show how much you care. Thank you for taking RL shopping at Toys R Us, even when you didn't have to, really. I am happy to have chosen you, and although we only see each other once in a blue moon, I know you will always be there. Thanks! And finally, to my brother-in-law, M, you may not know it, but there are memories and words that I will always treasure in my heart. Thank you for giving A the TV we now have in our living room. ;) For taking on responsibilities that aren't yours in the first place (but you take them on anyway because of your giving heart). I pray you find someone who will truly love you unconditionally. You are a good man. Thank you for being a blessing. Happy Father's Day, Ninongs!

TO PASTOR LARRY
If there is one thing I will never forget, it is this: A excitedly telling me how you took her out for frozen yogurt after KC. This was the seed that started it all, and because of your kindness, she now finds it easier to trust others. I know you've been told this many, many times, but you are a great dad. Your sons and daughter are blessed to have you. Y is blessed to have you as her partner in life. If there is someone my kids can look up to and for RL to emulate, it is you. Thank you for truly caring for them, for giving RL high-fives in church, for lifting both A and RL up in prayer, for never hesitating when led to bless, pray, lift, praise, encourage, rebuke, etc. My kids are blessed to have you as their pastor, and I am blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for always being there. Happy Father's Day!

TO OUR NEIGHBOR, DOC
Before we moved to this home, RL never really grasped the concept of having a dad around. He was too young when my husband and I separated. So when once, he told me how he wanted to have a dad because your daughter had you, it broke my heart. But you would play ball with my son, and invite him into your home without second thoughts. And it was the fact that he finally knew what having a dad meant that prodded him to accept his own dad in his life. It was the fact that you were in your daughter's life that made him want to spend time with his father. He didn't even hesitate because he knew it was a natural thing - to actually have a dad. Thank you for being a great dad to your daughter and a great husband to CC. My kids now have a picture of a loving, caring, beautiful family because of you guys.

AND TO ALL THE DADS, UNCLES, GRANDDADS, GODFATHERS, AND SINGLE MOMS TAKING ON DADDY ROLES... HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! YOU ARE BLESSED!

Father's Day

When I was 16 and studying in the US, I was made to list down 3 people who I am most inspired by. And the first person that came to mind was my dad. 

Photo from: http://imfaniey.blogspot.com

I was always Daddy's Little Girl... well, until the grandkids came along, but yea, my dad and I share a special bond only fathers and daughters have. The most vivid first memory I have of my dad is of him sitting beside me on the stairs at our old house, telling me how I should never try on my mom's bakya, since I always tumble and fall while wearing them (my mom had the nicest pair, it called out to me each time I passed the shoe rack, LOL). And I did fall a couple of times, and that was what led to that particular conversation on the stairs. I remember him telling me how I was precious and that he wouldn't be around all the time to protect me, but that I should listen to his reminders and learn how to protect myself.

I was told that when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad had wanted a baby boy. Baby boys were stars in Chinese families, and a first-born son meant the world to my paternal grandparents. My dad bought sets of Matchbox cars for his first-born even before I came into the world. Alas, God had other plans and I was his eldest child. That didn't change things. I was his little girl, and I had a mean collection of die-cast cars. LOL.

When I was 5, my dad took me on my first trip out of the country (to the homeland, of course). Just my dad and me. I will never forget that trip. He made me promise to remember where we were going at all times, what roads to take, which way to go, etc. And I guess that is why my navigation skills are top-notch. Haha! Seriously, he taught me how to study maps, figure out routes, find short cuts, etc. By the time I was 8, I was already planning and navigating US cross-country road trips! I loved it because I always got to sit shot-gun!

Now that I am older, I've realized that I've always wanted someone like my dad. My dad stood by me through every trial I've had to go through. He'd pray for me, and would always give me a ready-hug each time I felt down. His heart always had Christ's name written on it.

I now work with my dad, not as obligation, but by choice. We run the family corporation's ministry arm - a legacy left behind by my grandparents. Hard as it may seem to work with family, and I know this first-hand as I see how difficult it is for my dad to draw the line between us being his kids and being his employees, seeing my dad everyday has its rewards. We went through tough times together, and there are times when I feel he doesn't understand what I am going through, but I see in his eyes that he only wants what's best for his daughter - for his little girl.

Once, when R and I were having problems, and I was pregnant with RL, my dad saw me sitting in church, close to tears. He sat beside me, and literally just sat there. No questions, no hugs, no nothing. A week later, I found out from our Pastor that my dad had asked for prayers for me. He felt the weight of my troubles, and by sitting beside me, tried to carry all that with me.

I know that there are times when we've wronged each other, and there are times when I am sure he feels like I've outgrown him, but Dad, I will always be your little girl. And I love you with all my heart.

Happy Father's Day!

*This was meant to be a Father's Day post but I ran out of SmartBro credits right when I was writing this over the long weekend. Then I forgot all about it. Hehe. So here it is. ;)