I have never been so angry in my life. I realized my hands were shaking right after I put the phone down (and I thought there was something wrong with my Vaio vibrating like so, LOL!). And today, I found it in me to cry. Twice. No, never dare threaten a mother who looks after her young. I still get angry thinking about it. I still have a thousand and one words for them, but only for them (and not this blog), so help me.
~~~
I spent a good two hours in A's school today. I got her report card yesterday and I am not surprised about the comments her teachers made. She has lost focus and spends a lot of time daydreaming, staring into space, talking to her seat mates, etc. My daughter has her mind elsewhere. Just the other day, I overheard her talking to a friend and she was saying how sad she was because her dad hasn't visited in weeks. And although I know she knows she won't be seeing him anytime soon, I cannot bring myself to tell her so. I look at her at night when she's asleep, and think of ways to infuse strength to her character, and I crumble at the thought that I can't protect her all the time.
So today, as I left A's school, I looked at my daughter and even though I saw sadness in her eyes, she managed to smile back when I smiled at her. I may not be able to take her away from the reality of things, but we can pretend. So tonight, we will pretend. We will forget about our problems. Yes, a great comedy like Kimmy Dora sounds good. :) We both know we need a good laugh.
It breaks my heart knowing that your kids are the ones most hurt by all these.... sending hugs for you and your babies :) Stay strong and keep your unwavering faith... this too shall pass....
ReplyDeletehi kaye, it's already my habit that everyday i check on your blog. and i feel sad too whenever you feel like this. the only way i can help is to pray for you esp.A. Be strong Kaye. jansport_np@yahoo
ReplyDeletehi kaye, just wondering what church here in manila you're attending... i am with jesus is lord church in music museum. How about you? -jansport_np@yahoo
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