Thursday, June 28, 2007

Tell Me What to Do.

i feel so bad. i mean, not really bad-bad. and heck, it's not really me. it's A. she's been having separation anxiety since the day her dad left. she wakes up in the morning, crying because she doesn't want to go to school. she whines all the way home from school because she wants to stay with me at the office. and when i do take her home from school, she refuses to let me go back to work. she refuses to sleep on her bed and clings to me at night until she finally dozes off. she pesters her paternal grandparents until they lose their minds and well, her face lits up each time she hears the gate open and it just drops when she realizes that it isn't her dad. my heart just breaks each time, but what can i do? it has been like this for almost two weeks.

and me? well, i think i am ok. more like in denial, but heck, nothing i'll die from (or at least i think so). and well... what's that saying about why sometimes, in the worst of circumstances, humans tend to lie to themselves? ah... yes, it's because the truth freaking hurts.

sigh. two weeks. has it been that long?

Sunday, June 24, 2007


how do you tell a little girl that things will be alright and that her dad is coming back? that all these has to happen, because R says he wants what's best for his daughter when his daughter can't even understand?

i was taking a shower about 10 minutes ago, when in the middle of it all, i hear A yelling at the top of her lungs.

a: "DADDY!!!"
me: "Why are you shouting, A?"
a: "I have to say 'Daddy' louder because Daddy is in America. So he can hear me..."

:( so tell me... how?

Thursday, June 21, 2007


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