#MommaDiaries | WWJD?

RL has been learning about Jesus in his Christian Living class in school. The past two weeks, we've been reading his lessons over and over again. The kids are learning about how Jesus is God's greatest gift to us, and how we can be children of God by following Jesus' example. Today, RL got to apply this lesson. Momma ended up learning from it, too.

I took RL to the office because he was going to get picked up by his bus there today. A had a doctor's appointment so I didn't have time to drop RL off properly, as we were rushing to make it to the clinic on time. What I didn't know was that in the office, Lola B (who has been working for the family business for the past 30 or so years) saw RL and gave him a 500-Peso bill. She loves showering the grandchildren and great grandchildren with gifts, so this wasn't something unexpected. However, because I wasn't in the office, and neither was my dad, RL thought it would be wise to keep the money in his pant pocket.

RL has always been very careful about money.
He was really disappointed today.

Earlier this evening, when he got home from school, he was crying because he lost the money. He was saying he placed it in his bag, and when he got to class, it was no longer there. He couldn't have lost it, because he says he placed it in a small pocket inside a bigger zipped pocket where it would be impossible for it to accidentally fall out. Plus anyone who opens that pocket wouldn't see the bill. Besides, he never opens that part of his bag, because it isn't big enough to hold anything (well, except for a 500-Peso bill). I couldn't console him at first - he was feeling really bad about losing a gift. So I told him that it was just money, and that the person who took it probably needed it. Went on to explain that even if someone stole it, he needed to forgive whoever took the money. And that we should follow Jesus' example on being forgiving - even when people did things to hurt Him. Then we prayed. We asked the Lord to bless whoever took the money, but at the same time convict that person. And we asked God to take care of RL's loss, but also asked Him to teach RL to forgive. God knew exactly what happened and we don't. We didn't really see who took it, but He did. So we asked God to handle it. I then asked God to send his comfort and peace to overwhelm RL (so he'd stop crying).

After he calmed down, we assessed what had happened and how it happened. RL told us that when he was in the school bus, about halfway to school, he took out his handkerchief, and the bill fell to the floor. The bus lady saw him pick the money up from the floor and when he was about to put it back in his pant pocket, she goes "Put it in your bag! Put it in your bag!" And so he did. For all to see. There were only two other people in the bus - another first grader and his nanny. RL says his bag stayed next to him the whole time and no one else touched it. Except when the bus lady took it out of the bus when they got to school. It took a while for RL to get off since he sits inside and the other student and his nanny sit closer to the door. So when he got off, the bus lady handed him his bag, and he pulls it to the waiting area (a classroom) where he sits and waits for class. Bag stays next to him the whole time. Bag also stays next to him the whole time in the classroom. Again, no one touched it. After Music, which is the second subject for Tuesday, he decides to take a peek and finds the bill gone! He searches through his whole bag, but it is no longer there.

When I heard his retelling, I wanted to call the bus operator (a co-parent, who also happens to be a lawyer), and tell him about the incident. I also wanted to text the bus lady, but I decided to call KY first. After discussing the whole situation with her, and hearing my own advice to RL and our prayer in that retelling, I couldn't believe I reacted that way. We agreed that I should pray about it first, and that I shouldn't do anything just yet. Besides, we don't really know who took the money.

As I went back to tutoring RL, he tells me that he now feels better, because we had prayed for comfort.

RL: "Mom, why do we have to pray for those who hurt us? For the bad people?"
K: "Because they probably don't know that what they did was wrong."
RL: "But why?"
K: "I don't know..." 

I pause to think a bit, and my thoughts bring me to R and how much he has hurt us, and yet we choose to pray for him. Still.

K: "Because we can't do anything about it, and we can't control them, so we pray for them."
RL: "You know why, Mom? Because that's what Jesus would do. He prayed for those that hurt him. He loves them even if they sin."

Ok, so I learned something from the little boy.

Today, RL learned a good lesson on following Jesus' example. Momma learned that parenting actually is also about teaching yourself as much as it is about making sure your kids grow up to be good people.


"Train children to live the right way, and when they are old, they will not stray from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NCV)

Thank you, Lord, for today.

#HoarderDiaries | EXPOMOM GOES SOUTH!

I told my friend Janice how I really, really wanted to go to this ExpoMom. Why? Well, aside from it giving me a fair enough reason to drive South and see dear friends (ehem!), I learned from Janice, the great mompreneur behind ExpoMom, that this particular ExpoMom is going to be a little different. "This ExpoMom is going to be more intimate - with different areas catering to the different aspects of mommyhood," Janice told me at her recently concluded ExpoMom at Glorietta. Yes, friends, think mommy seasons. There will be four different areas of interest - Attachment Parenting, Pregnancy, Baby Care, and Kids Stuff.

This Expo will also feature FREE all-day arts and crafts activities for kids so that Mommy (and Daddy) can shop with ease.  These activities will be facilitated by Kids These Days MNL, Make My Day and Crafts and Party Bucket - experts in keeping little ones (and the not-so-little ones) busy and entertained.

Crafts & Party Bucket

Kids These Days MNL

Make My Day

If you want your kids to join any of these activities, you must pre-register for them by texting 0998.5399212 or by filling out the online form on the link.

I am sad because aside from all the activities, Janice mentioned there will be new product picks featured here. Wish I could be there this Sunday, but I am flying out to Oz for work! I will be missing out on a number of activities this weekend. Sad. So sad.

But! YOU DON'T HAVE TO MISS THIS! Head on South this Sunday, and catch ExpoMom at the Crimson Hotel, Filinvest City, Alabang. This is a one-day-only event so make sure you catch them while they're there!

EXPO MOM GOES SOUTH

June 28, 2015

Sunday, 10am to 6pm 

Crimson Hotel, Alabang

| mommymundo.com

Oh, Mother's Day.

It is now 2am, and I can't sleep. I've been blogging this post in my head all night. So I thought I might as well type away while I'm at it. A and I had an ugly argument in the car earlier. I was so frustrated, I ended up sending her home with my mom and KY. 

A has been spending most of the summer at my mom's place. She has Trumpets in the afternoons, so we all thought it would be best for her to stay over my folks' so their driver can take her to class. It's not that it's a bad idea. I actually welcome the opportunity, for her. But maybe it makes her see the contrast of lifestyles, and she has noted the differences out loud, more than once or twice. Not that it matters, but this evening, she once again expressed disgust over how full the car was (she has complained more than once about how it irritates her to have a lot of things in the car and house - I sell toys, etc to make extra money). I came from a meeting with the BentoMommas, and had to lug stock back to our warehouse as i handle dispatching of orders for the group. So the back seat was brimming with this and that, and she didn't have space for her overnighter. 

I don't know. Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's because I was tired (drove through a total of four hours of traffic today), but I took offense right away. I don't know if she thinks I chose my circumstances, but it hurts me to think that she, of all people, do not understand. I know I am not a perfect mom, nor am I the perfect parent. But I try my best, given the circumstances. And it pains me that she overlooks all my hard work. 

Okay, so maybe I am having entitlement issues. I know I am wrong to think this way. I just wish that sometimes, the kids don't take my efforts forgranted. I wish they'd think through our circumstances and know I am trying my darn best to make life easier for them - to make things work.

There is nothing I would like more in this world than to give my kids the life I know they deserve. And I've given up so much just so they can have some semblance of what my life was like before I got married. It does not matter to me that I cannot have the things I used to have. It doesn't matter if i don't get to buy that nice, expensive bag; or that I've had to forego buying myself jewelry or taking a vacation just because I have to make tuition payments, or if I have to save up for something for them. I know of mothers who give up so much more, just for their kids. And it's not like I am forced to choose. I willingly choose to put them first, without much thought. It is automatic - and it is the same for most mothers. So yes, woe is me for getting on the pity party bus. (Must be hormones. Bah!)

Why does one have to give up something just so another can have it better anyway? Sacrifice must be inherent in mothers. It must have been programmed in their hearts from the very beginning. They give up space in their bodies (and eventually that sexy figure) to house a child for 9 whole months. They give up many a good night's (or day's) sleep. They give up work and their time just to make sure their kids have it better. Sometimes, they even give up their own happiness. Ah yes, sacrifice. I know it all too well. 

I have a good friend who, after an ugly divorce, gave up being with her kids just so they can continue living the good life with their dad. An ex-officemate sacrifices her time, money - up to the very last cent, just so her only daughter isn't ridiculed in school for being poor. I know of moms who don't even get to eat a decent meal, just so their kids get their day's fill of food. Or the moms who choose to work away from her kids in order for her to earn enough to send them to good schools, and give them a bright future. Or the young mom who gives up her child to her parents or to another couple knowing they can provide better for her little one. Hard choices. And yet the bottomline remains the same - we do it for our children, the very ones that define us as moms.

And yet, here I am, sitting on my bed, hours before dawn on Mother's Day, thinking through these thoughts. I grumble and think I deserve at least an ounce of appreciation for all these sacrifices. And yet, I know, I don't quite deserve it because it was my choice to sacrifice for my kids' benefit anyway. I did so without expecting anything in return, and yet, why does it hurt me when they don't recognize it, or when they do not seem to appreciate all that I've done? 

Mothers only have good dreams for their children. When A was a baby, I'd sit by her bedside and dream of how she'd turn out to be. I think about how my own mom probably imagined the same when I was a baby. The thought that I gave her much disappointment just wrings my heart dry. There is a particular photo in one of those albums at home that is etched on my mind. On it, my mom cuddles me to her face. At that particular moment, she is probably dreaming up the world for me - her firstborn. It tears me up every time I think about it. I have similar photos of my kids in my head, and it just scares me that one day, I'll be heaving heavy sighs every time those photos come to mind. I now know how hard it is to parent a child! 

I am grateful that my mom loves me in spite of the many heartaches I gave her. It can be difficult to choose empathy over anger, especially when we've been wronged by people we care the most about. And I've failed this many, many times. Case in point: last night's episode in the car. I know I was wrong. If I feel unappreciated, then maybe I failed somewhere. Maybe A doesn't really know, maybe she doesn't quite understand our situation. It was all me and my self-pity. Bah! Can't I just protect my kids from all this?!

I get it now. Motherhood is not meant for wimps. It is one of the hardest, if not the toughest, jobs in the world. I'll say it again, I am not the perfect mother - I am far from perfect. But God must have thought me worthy to be one. I can only pray I do this job well. Regardless if I feel unappreciated sometimes. 

It Never Ends!

Today, I came home to two bickering siblings. One was complaining that his sister was making faces at him (and he was whining to no end), and the other? Well, she was making sure to irk her brother, waiting to see if she could make him cry. And so the little one starts picking on his sister - kicking her, poking her, touching her things, etc. And then the sister cries (pikon din pala). It becomes a crazy cycle! Kulang nalang talaga mag-wresting sila! Kaloka!

I've written about this before. It can be very frustrating when you get involved. Today, I decided to be Spectator Momma. I let them be, and watched them 'til they got tired. Eventually, A went up to sleep. And I finally got some peace. RL's disposition immediately changed - you'd think someone switched on his happy light (if there is such a thing).

I've been told that they will outgrow this phase. And I tell you, I cannot wait 'til that day comes.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want them to grow up just yet. I just pray that the kids learn to get along. The little boy loves and adores his older sister, but A sure loves to pick on her little brother. Did I ever do that to my younger siblings? I asked my brothers and they remember how I used to exert superiority (being the older sister) when we were playing with our Lego sets. "You used to get all the nice pieces to build your village. You had mansions, tapos yung sa amin, squatter!"

Okay, okay, I get it. I was a bully, too.

Two weeks ago, I started a new reading plan on my Bible app - Parenting By Design. I have made it my mission to make sure I pray for my children everyday. There are things out of my control, but it comforts me to know that I can pray for my kids, and that God is very much in control of any situation they find themselves in.

Parenting by Design Daily Devotional.

I love the reading plan because it is a good supplement to my 365 Days Bible in One Year reading plan. Plus, the daily devotions aren't long. I can spend more time praying after. If you want to try it out, you can download the Bible app by YouVersion and search their reading plans for it.

Here's today's devotional:

Each devotional comes with a verse for you to reflect on. I love how the Bible is also a great instruction manual on parenting. I'd be lost without it!

Meanwhile, I pray my kids get out of this season of fighting soon. I am getting old playing the referee! Seriously, you should see all my gray hair. Ack!

~~~ * ~~~

As I've mentioned in my post yesterday, I've had to move this week's scheduled giveaway to next week. The sponsor had asked to move it. Timely, too, because what better thing to giveaway than this...

WWE Rumblers Rampage Devastadium Playset - retails for $25 - $30 in the US!

Yes, win this WWE Rumblers Rampage Devastadium Playset! Can't believe I'm actually giving this away. Okay, it's not an expensive gadget, but it's still a nice prize, right? Hehe. Plus, it's brand new, original and imported.

You know what to do. This week's giveaway will run until Wednesday night, next week. You must have a Philippine address to join. You must also use a valid email address, so I can notify you properly should you win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What do you do when your kids fight?

Teaching Compassion.

My daughter A has been talking about this new girl in the school bus, E, who is some sort of a bully. "The other kids call her Donya since she's such a boss, but she's the newbie, so it's irritating."

That was a couple of months ago. And during that conversation, I wondered if I was lacking as a parent, and if I failed to teach my kids compassion. I discussed each situation that A claimed to be "annoying" and proceeded to lecture her about doing "what Jesus would have done." I cited many possibilities resulting in the kid's attitude toward her new bus mates, including the fact A supplied - "she lives alone with her lola."

And I thought she understood what it meant to see past faults after that conversation.

This morning, while in bed, RL comes up to discuss school bus stories (he rides the bus home with his sister).

RL: "Mom, Ate A doesn't like me talking to Ate E (same new girl in the bus)."

K: "Why? Does she (E) bully you? Does she fight with you?"

RL: "No."

K: "No one talks to her? Doesn't she have any friends?"

R (answering with conviction): "She does! One friend!"

K: "Who?"

RL: "ME!!!"

While I am sad that I need to have another talk with my daughter, my heart is rejoicing over RL and his heart. 

"Train children to live the right way, and when they are old, they will not stray from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NCV)

New Gen Care for the New Gen Mom

Are you a New Gen Mom?

After attending a talk hosted by Johnson's Baby a few Saturdays back, I have been asking myself this: Am I a New Generation Mom? I mean, being a mom today takes a lot of perseverance and hard work (what more being a single mom?). But as moms, we are also hounded by naysayers (who always think they know better) and traditional folks (especially here in the Philippines) that sometimes, being a mom of this generation takes a lot more determination.

A recent study conducted by BBDO Philippines, in partnership with Johnson's® Baby, shows that the New Generation Mom can be characterized according to five remarkable traits...

1. ACTIVE SEEKER – She actively seeks new and improved ways to care for her children. She reads about the latest in nutrition, educational systems and baby products to ensure that her children always receive what’s best. She’s not afraid of challenging the traditional and is first to adopt what’s new if it is more beneficial for her family.

2. MULTI-ROLE MANAGER – She knows that there’s more to life than being a Mom. That’s why she happily juggles her other roles like wife, entrepreneur, friend, fashionista and adventurer. She maintains her individuality while keeping in mind that her family is top priority.

3. EFFICIENT SUPPORT SYSTEM – She lives by the saying that “It takes a village to raise a child.” She relies on her support system to help care for her kids from her hands-on hubby, helpful Lolas and efficient Yaya. She does not, however, surrender all her duties and rather relies on such support to allow her to be the kind of Mom she wishes to be.

4. EMPOWERED BY TECHNOLOGY – She uses technology as both a resource and a tool. She’s constantly on Babycenter.com.ph to search for new vegetable recipes or arts and crafts ideas. She shares the same information with her fellow Moms on Facebook or Pinterest. Her IPAD is loaded with videos and games to keep her kids entertained.

5. HIGHLY EXPRESSIVE ORIGINATORS – She takes pride in being the “first to know” and the “first to share.” She is quite discerning in her discoveries and choices for herself and her family. And when she has a great, new find, she shares with her fellow Moms, who love hearing about this.

Many of you know I work full-time. Add that to a double full-time career in single parenting, and a part-time one in diaper-cake making, blogging, teaching, etc. Woosah! Life is FULL. But I don't mind. With parenting partners like Johnson’s® baby, a new generation mom like me has all the help she can get.

I am glad Johnson’s® Baby continues to evolve as well in order to address every mom and baby’s changing needs. As explained by Johnson’s® Baby Associate Marketing Director Rezel Aquino, “We stay true to our commitment to partner with every mom to give her baby only the best from Day One to Everyday. That’s why we proudly launch New Generation Care for New Generation Moms, a new line of product innovations that will empower the moms of today to care for their babies in a new gen way.”

Indeed, this is testament to Johnson’s baby’s vision to care for generation after generation of Moms and babies from 100 years back, today and into the future.

http://facebook.com/JohnsonsBabyPhilippines

AB Marriage/ BS Parenting

Do you ever wonder why one would need years of training to become a professional and yet none to be a spouse or parent? I mean, look at doctors, bankers, etc. A doctor takes years of school and training; bankers have at least four; heck, even an office assistant needs at least two years of vocational school to start work! Whereas some couples go into marriage and parenting without relationship and nurturing credentials to their name. So yes, did you ever wonder why?

A lot of marriages today fail because, let's face it, couples rush into it unprepared. Why should one or two pre-wedding seminars suffice? If a spouse's role or a parent's role is most vital in a person's life, then, why, pray tell, do we go into unions as novice and not experts?

I should know as I rushed into marriage as well - unprepared for what was to be my role for the rest of my life. I remember when, after R and I started having problems (the bigger ones that count), my friend F told me about how we should seek counseling or attend family seminars to save our marriage. I had pushed the idea aside, thinking I knew better, when really, I knew nothing about saving marriages and keeping my family intact.

R and I have been 'physically' separated for about 2+ years now. Nothing could have prepared us (kids included) for what was to come after he left. Communication was hard (we always ended up on each other's nerves) and visits were nil (especially when he moved South). And I suppose, the hardest thing for a parent was to explain the situation to the kids (more for A, but RL has been asking more about his dad lately). If I was unprepared to be a mom, how much more a single mom! I needed help. I sought the advice of friends and family, and although I appreciate their opinion and take on my situation, most didn't know exactly what I had to go through (as most, in fact, none of them knew how it was to be separated - I am blessed with friends in healthy, godly marriages, ha!).

If parenting is hard for couples, what more for those who have to tackle being BOTH mom AND dad alone? Single parenting is tough. Having a family is no joke. It is the basic unit that affects every individual. I want to be the best parent I can be to my kids, but really, I can only do so with God's grace. I don't even know how and where to start! So I reiterate, why do we go into starting a family unequipped?

Apparently, I am not alone in this thought. Last year, three friends saw the need to help couples prepare themselves for marriage and parenting. They got together to organize what is to be the first-ever FAMILY CONGRESS in the Philippines, happening on August 25, 2012.

Meet Maribel Dionisio, Rowie Matti and Fides Reyes - the organizers behind this big event. I got the privilege of meeting the three ladies during a parenting talk a few Saturdays ago. Maribel Dionisio co-organized the 1st Ateneo Family Congress in 2005. The desire to educate couples and parents spurred her desire to put up FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 - BFF: BUILDING THE FILIPINO FAMILY. With the help of organizing expert, Fides Reyes (F.I.D. Event Services) and educator, Rowie Matti (Galileo Enrichment Learning Program), Maribel hopes to help educate Filipino families about relationships and love.

The Family behind FAMILY CONGRESS 2012!
Clockwise from Top:  Maribel S. Dionisio, Ma. Rowena J. Matti and Fides M. Reyes

FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 aims to provide a venue for learning by gathering the best experts in the field of psychology, parenting, and relationship to share their knowledge to family members, educators and organizations in the most effective and simplest way.

Check out the line up of talks, speakers and activities during this whole-day affair:

AM Sessions:
* Migrating and Managing the Digital World by Queena Lee-Chua, Ph.D.
* Handling the Bully and the Bullied by Honey Carandang, Ph.D.
* Built for Forever: Preparing Singles for a Lifetime Relationship by Rissa Singson-Kawpeng
* Teen Talk about Love, Sex, and Dating by Dan and Nabelle Caballes
* From Wellness to Wholeness (for adults 21 & up) by Harriet Hormillosa, M.A.   
PM Sessions:
* Being Friends Forever in Marriage: Learning the Art of Fighting by Allan Dionisio, M.D. and Maribel Dionisio, M.A.
* Teaching Parents to Talk to Kids & Teens about Crushes, Sex & Relationship by Michelle Alignay. M.A. and Aiza Tabayoyong
* Managing Teen Emotions by Obet Cabrillas
* Career, Relationship, and Life Plan for Singles by Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 
* Beyond the Tears: Griefwork by Cathy Babao-Guballa

All registered participants get to choose one session in the morning, and another in the afternoon. Aside from these 2 sessions, guests will also get to hear inspirational messages from Archbishop Luis Antonio Tagle and motivational speaker, Francis Kong!

How I wish they started having this 10 years ago! But then, it's never too late to learn the ropes on how to nourish a lifetime commitment. At least now, I know better.

FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 - BFF: BUILDING THE FILIPINO FAMILY will be held on August 25, 2012, from 8AM to 5PM, at the Valle Verde Country Club, Pasig City. It is presented by The Love Institute, in partnership with Galileo Enrichment Learning Program and F.I.D. Event Services.

Early Bird Rate I (register on or before April 30): P1300
Early Bird Rate II (register between May 1 to June 30): P1400
Regular Rate: P1500 per attendee
Promo Rate: 6+1! (Pay for 6, get 1 FREE, based on regular rate of P1500 each)

Registration fee is inclusive of seminar fee, meals an loads of swag!

For more information on FAMILY CONGRESS 2012, call the following numbers:
(02) 579-0100
(0917) 897-2903
(0922) 252-1896

Email: familycongress@gmail.com
Twitter: @FamCong2012
Facebook: /FamilyCongress

Congratulations, Babe!

My not-so-little girl transferred to her big, all-girls school last year. And although it was a huge change for her (having studied in a small school from the age of 4), she managed very well. I really have no problems with A when it comes to going to school. She LOVES school. She hates holidays and summer vacay, and gets pretty bored at home. She loves everything about her new school - the fact that she now has new friends, over a dozen new teachers, busmates, a school library, clubs, activities, a huge cafeteria, etc.

Remember when I blogged about final exams and how I felt I was pushing A too hard? Well our hard work has paid off! When I went to her school Friday morning, her homeroom teacher told me how A has blossomed in class, so much so that they don't even remember she's a new student. And yay, because A made it to her school's Honor Assembly! With a cool O average, too! That's O for 'Outstanding' and not O for 'Ows?!!', Dugong! LOL!

Can't tell you just how proud I am of my daughter. She's mighty proud of her achievement, too! So maybe I did push her just right.

Congratulations, Babe! Congratulations to us! Yay!

I Have a 3rd Grader, Right?

That was one hell-of-a-week! Can't say I didn't get stressed. Thank goodness we had a reprieve Thursday (not that we reviewed extra hours, more like we took in more snooze). Who's happy that school is finally out?

Not A. Nope. She's bummed with the idea that she's "gonna get really, really bored at home with the babies (babies meaning RL and our neighbors, cousins A2 and C)." So Friday, after her last test, I took her with me to the office - which wasn't really cool with A, given that I made her skip her busmates' "Summer is Here!" (that's what she wrote on the poster she made for this event) party. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that my A was half the brains to this whole shindig at her friend P's house. She's really into planning this and that; why, she's probably planned more "parties", garage sales, you-get-the-picture events than I have. I caught her writing her "Things to bring" list Monday evening, when she was supposed to be deep in books for Tuesday's Science and Language exams. 

I have a 3rd Grader, right?

A, getting a haircut at One on One.
D, who's been cutting my hair since I was 12, is amused
with A's unwillingness to chop her hair off.

So why is this 3rd Grader planning parties with her friends? When I took her for a haircut Saturday afternoon, she was insisting we keep her hair the way it is, saying she waited so long for her hair to grow (we had it cut really short before the school year had started). And she had her way with our stylist, who cut off barely an inch from her locks (not worth the money I paid, I tell ya). Am I losing my grip on my daughter? She's hardly 10, but already too strong-willed and acts like a teen.

My mom says that kids will usually have us pay for the problems we gave our own parents. And let me tell you, I am dreading the day my daughter becomes an adolescent. In my eyes, she is still a child. Which she is, but you get my point.

And I thought I'd explain it well to her how "mommy only wants what's best" but she always says "why is YOUR best not the same as what MY best is?" I am merely trying to protect her. And I know I can't prevent her from making mistakes in the future, nor can I keep her on a leash. I can only pray that I guide her well enough to keep her head on right into adulthood. Lord, I need your grace to do this the right way, to break the curse of my sins and have her love you more than anything else.

In the meantime, I only have a few more years to hold on to my child and make sure she grows up to be a godly, God-loving, God-fearing adult. And if in the process, she gets "hurt", and if I have to face more "drama", I shall endure it knowing that one day, she will eventually choose to do what she sees fit, and no longer what "mom says".

Thank goodness, I only have a 3rd Grader.

Ok, A says she'll be a 4th Grader this school year, so yea, no longer a 3rd Grader. I stand corrected. 

Separation Anxiety

Today was a first, after more than two months, for RL to stay home. I suppose he got used to going to the office with me. This morning, as I got ready to leave, he kept pointing to himself, saying... "Me! Me!" Then he pointed at his feet... "Shoes! Wear shoes." Then he did the sign for shoes.

Poor baby. It tugged at my heart that I had to leave him with the new nanny. But A stayed home with him, too. I had to reassure him that mommy will be back, and I sure hope everything worked out well. So far, I've received 4 update calls from A - none of the panic-kind, thank goodness.

Yaya B is only 18. She was in 1st year college, and had to quit after the first semester due to financial difficulties. Computer Science, too! She must be smart, and it pains me that she has to stop. Of course my first reaction to this fact was guilt. I so wanna help her, but I also need a nanny. And the last househelp I had helped send to college left me with not one ounce of gratitude. She left pa when I had needed her the most.

My mom says I shouldn't be too nice to my yayas. But I can't help it. I grew up with one. And I remember crying when she left. And it makes me sad that some are young kids with so much potential! My cousin's nanny is a 4th year college drop-out. She stopped because she needed to help her family. She says she made the right decision though, given that she was able to send ALL her siblings to school after working for more than 20 years as a nanny to expat families.

Yesterday, Yaya B played Monopoly with A. And according to A, she was pretty good (this coming from my uber-competitive daughter who thinks she is best at everything!) Then, I was told Yaya B made a call to her mom in the province. And cried. This is daily chismax for my daughter, who was all too eager to tell me all about her and Yaya B's day when I got home.

"She cried! She misses her mom."

I should think so, it is her first time away from home.

I think back to how clingy I was when my own parents left to train in the US in the 80s. This was right after my brother KW was born. We had to endure 3 whole months without them. I remember sobbing each time they'd call.

I've read up on Separation Anxiety because of the case with RL. And experts say reassurance is key to successful separation. Assure and reassure the child that things will be ok, that mommy will come back, etc. My mom says to just sneak out. LOL. I tried the assurance tactic yesterday and that didn't work. So today, I sneaked out.

Early this morning as I tried to psyche myself to get out of bed, my thoughts wandered and brought me to memories of my earlier woes with R. Each time he left my side, I had panicked. When reassurance should have calmed my nerves, I was doubtful. Woman's Instinct told me there was something up his sleeve.

Looking back, I now feel like I wasted so much time worrying. I could have saved myself with God's assurance that He is in control. That, or I could have sneaked out to freedom. O_o Sigh.

Note: After reading this post, make sure you read this one. ^_^