In the Hands of the Potter.

I've been wanting to blog about this for so long, but I thought I'd ask Joy first if it was okay. This isn't an easy subject, given the circumstance. 

It was back in 1992 when I first learned of what happened to Joy. I was in the US, and my aunt and uncle had arrived from Manila and had mentioned this. Because her brother was my classmate back in grade school, the story hit hard. I had asked the Lord why He would allow something so tragic to happen to a pastor's daughter. Last year, Joy's testimony was featured on CBN Asia. Two weeks ago, for Holy Week, her story was once again featured for CBN Asia's Tanikala Special - this time, with Pastor Peter Tan-Chi's insight on what happened to his family. Below are the videos of that particular feature (thank you, Fermin Fajardo, for uploading!):











You don't have to be Joy's friend to know that something like this affects you forever. I admire her for coming out to tell her story - more for using something as tragic an experience as rape for God's greater glory. I know some people will never come to understand the whys - why they chose to forgive over seeking vengeance, why they chose to tell their story, why they chose to forego suing the perpetrators, etc. But see, when you choose to leave everything before the Lord, He promises to make something beautiful out of it.

"You changed my sorrow into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness, and clothed me in happiness." Psalm 30:11 NCV

Similarly, I know a lot of people will never understand my reasons for standing for my marriage. But my hope is in the Lord and not in man. He brings me true joy and strength. I am not pining for R, and yes, we are friends. I choose to be his friend. And if others see something wrong in that, it's their problem, not mine. It is not an easy choice. It is easier to just walk away. But what does that say about my faith in an omnipotent God? I pray the Lord protects my children, and instead have them see Christ in our situation. This is my conviction. No matter how ugly the past may be, God still meant it for good.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Romans 8:28 NCV

I was just telling my friend A how I've set my eyes on the prize, and even if I don't get to see it in my lifetime, I am fine with it. I know this is the purpose God has planted in my heart. I pray God uses my life and testimony for His glory. So far, He has allowed me to encourage a few friends going through similar battles - just as He has used Joy's painful experience to minister to women who have been raped and abused.

No one wants to go through pain. The Tan-Chi family didn't think something like this could happen to them. I never asked for a broken marriage. But it is what it is, and I can only hope that God uses the broken pieces and molds it into something extraordinary.

You know how it is when a potter works on his clay? He molds it, and sometimes, the clay doesn't turn out the way he planned it to be. He takes the clay, kneads it again, then molds it once again to make something beautiful. It is the same with life and God. He is the Potter, and we are the clay. Do we allow Him to knead us into something beautiful? He can repair those chips, He can mend your broken life!

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart." Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Joy and I crossed paths again in college. I remember it was sometime junior or senior year when Edric (her husband) was telling us how he was planning on courting Joy. Edric is KY's godfather, and he is like a brother to me. When I heard how he liked Joy, I wondered if he knew. I know Edric to be this super idealistic guy (sorry, Sioti, totoo naman e, but of course God changed you, hehe) and I didn't know if that would matter to him.

Once, when discussing Joy, he tells me, "She's beautiful, Kaye. It isn't just her face. She is beautiful inside and out. Her beauty emanates from within." And right there, I knew. He knew and it didn't matter.

God had already made something beautiful out of it.

The ways of man is nothing compared to the ways of the Lord. He allows tragic things to happen. If He allowed it, He must have a plan. Is there anything too hard for the Lord?


| Read more about Hope on Joy's blog Teach With Joy. 

On that Road to a #BetterMe

I had typed the first part of this post at an airport, while waiting for my flight. Delayed turn-around flight, apparently. So I had a few hours to spare. I spent it thinking. And writing this (well, part of it). I had time to contemplate, and all these thoughts kept swirling in my head.

A few weeks months (!!!) ago, Kris (aka OCMomInManila) invited me to attend a Better Me event. At first, I didn't really know what to expect, except that it was a SoMoms thing, and Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo was speaking. Better Me. At the last minute, I took another look at the invite and noted it was about nurturing relationships with the spouse and children - alright, perfect.

I went to the talk with reservations. I must admit, with all that has happened this past year, my heart had given up. I had already decided that my marriage was, in fact, over. You must be wondering, why now? Why has it taken me this long to wake up. Please read on.

For the past 10 years, I have committed to fight for my family. The last three years saw me fighting a losing battle. My heart was weak. My spirit crushed. I no longer had it in me to go on. Part of me wanted to blame God for being silent. My prayers were left unanswered.

Then right before Christmas of 2012, my spouse came home and asked for forgiveness. Yes, R! I was floored. I didn't know what to make of it. I had been living my days without him in mind, without a prayer for restoration. Yes, you read that right. I was putting up a front - for the past year at least. In my head, I knew I had to keep praying, but my heart didn't have the will nor the desire to go on fighting for him. I brainwashed myself - filled my thoughts with the ugly pieces that made up the conundrum that is my husband.

Two weeks into it, one of our pastors prayed with me and told me to take a leap of faith. Another chance. And yet, a few weeks after that, I saw the old R. Same old, same old. And I built walls around my heart once again. No way was I going to let him hurt me this time. The wall went up. The mask, too. Three months later, he left. And you know, I blamed myself for allowing it to happen. I blamed myself for allowing him to penetrate the walls I had put up to keep my heart (and my kids' hearts) safe. My kids were hoping for restoration. And yet, I failed them.

The rest of 2013 went without hitch. We remained status quo - friends, married, separated, and yet, what were we exactly?

And so it happened that I accepted Kris' invitation to go to that Better Me event. And I have been struggling ever since.

Last week, after attending another one of those talks, I mentioned to Cai how I felt torn right after attending that particular talk in August. And you know, how I wasn't really publishing my half-written post because I didn't want my readers to think things were okay, when in reality, they weren't?

And yes, you're probably thinking: "Has K forgotten about her New Year's resolve?"

No, and that is why I am finally writing about it. That talk. That Better Me event that nagged at my innermost being. Sigh.

It's not that I didn't agree with Coach Pia. Don't get me wrong. I actually agreed with her on all points. And I must give credit where credit is due. Her talk spoke volumes, and in part, it actually convinced me to work on saving what we still have.

Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo

Taking notes...

I think the two life-changing points from her talk that really stayed with me all these months are these:

"YOU WORK TOWARDS A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE BECAUSE IT AFFECTS YOUR CHILDREN." 
I know, cliché. But really, show me a person who says his or her parents' separation didn't affect him or her at all. It does. And you know, whether you like it or not, the kids bring it with them. It changes them and defines their adult life. I've been asking myself this since that fateful day in August, do I really want this affecting my kids? Do I want them bearing the brunt 'til their adult life? I have the power to change their future - at least the way my kids think about marriage and family. Why won't I give them that?

Nurture your spouse.

Loving unconditionally = sacrifice.

"YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY." 
And that means transcending your personal ego, acknowledging your differences, letting go and forgiving past hurts, starting with a clean slate, and loving beyond words. How hard! I suppose this is where I struggled the most. Loving unconditionally, wow. It's so easy to say, but it entails so much from a person. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw in the towel at once. I cannot imagine myself loving R (or anyone else) when they clearly don't want to be a part of my life. Not that R showed signs he didn't want to be part of ours, but can you imagine loving your spouse in spite of... well, his sins?

And now, 7 months after that talk, I have come to realize that it can be done BUT it can't be done alone. After all, you cannot save a marriage on your own.

But you know what? Here's something I learned from church (I will write more about this on another post): the prodigal spouse doesn't have to agree on saving the marriage. He is not your partner in this quest. This is exactly why all my efforts went to waste in the past. I kept assuming my stand wouldn't work because R refused to save our marriage with me. And it was so easy to give up on him because I thought I couldn't love him the way I did before. You can't do it alone. You need GRACE to fight for your marriage. That's how you love unconditionally - you have to learn from the One who loves us in spite of past hurts, in spite of the many times we fall short of His glory - the One who forgives us, regardless.

So yes, readers, we are working on the marriage. We: God and I. There are a lot of issues that need to be addressed, but these issues are all about me. Not R. He has to deal with his personal issues on his own. I have forgiven him and will continue to forgive him, no matter how long it takes (or how often). And right now, we're friends. We're not exactly there, but we're getting somewhere. In fact, I would say, we're better now than when we were together. And you know, this loving unconditionally business gets easier by the day. When I don't feel like loving him that way, I just think about my kids, and know in my heart and mind that this is what I should do. I think about my own shortcomings and how we all don't deserve forgiveness and second chances anyway, but God gives it freely. So with that mindset, I know R deserves the same even when he doesn't deserve it. Yep, GRACE.

I sit here today, and I know I made the right resolve. I am my better me today, because of this. I've thrown worry, doubt and bitterness in the bin, and have started anew.


I'm sorry it took this long for me to write this piece. I want to thank YBS (Your Brand Story) and One Core for making talks like this possible. This particular talk has really, really made a difference in my life. Thank you to BPI for supporting this Better Me session (and for my really cool and very helpful finance journal), and to OMBU for a really delicious and memorable Filipino lunch (I love, love, love your Binakol!). 

My cool Financial Wellness Journal from BPI.

You guys should try Ombu. I love their Binakol (okay, I said that already)!
Ombu Modern Filipino Restaurant
G/F Sequoia Hotel, 91-93 Mother Ignacia Avenue, corner Timog Avenue, QC; (02) 441-0518

With Coach Pia, BPI and the SoMoms! What a privilege! Thank you, Kris!

Be My Valentine?

I will not lie to you. I am not exactly looking forward to Friday. Well, I was. But then, Sunday happened and all of sudden, I realized I wouldn't have a date for Valentine's Day after all. Not the real date-date at least. Not that the kids and I haven't been spending Valentine's Day with each other the past so and so years. We took family dates the first few years R wasn't around, then realized we were just stressing ourselves out with the crowd, the wait, the traffic, and all the hassle the day of hearts brings.

Last year, A and I took home Quiznos hoagies for dinner. Meanwhile, RL went out with KY and my mom. He later came home with a box of doughnuts and some chocolates for us. And that, dear folks, is how it is on Valentine's Day.

Last year's Valentine's treat from my little boy and his achi.

This year? Well this year, I was supposed to go out on a date (!!!). Alas, my date had to leave to clear out some work issues in the province. And so, we're back to having take-out tomorrow. Or maybe I'll cook, since the nanny will be away (even she has a date!). Not that I was expecting something grand this year, but you know, things have been better, and although we're not exactly where we want to be, God sure knows how to fill the void.

Today, in a conversation with my favorite aunt about Valentine's and how she is spending it with friends, relegating her dinner date to the less-traffic weekend, she says "It's just tradition. Valentine's is every day, if you know how to make it so. It's not the day, it's the date - the person or people you are with."

And so, I realized I celebrated Valentine's with my man Saturday night. I had that Valentine's date after all.

If there is one thing I am thankful for each time this day comes around, it is this: I've never been without love. In fact, every year, I am reminded that I am blessed to have who I have. Plus, I am expectant! I know that one day, when that day finally comes and I get to spend Valentine's Day out on a date, I can look back and say, hey, those take-out, date-less Valentine's Days weren't so bad after all.

And with that, here's another giveaway to celebrate Hearts Day with you! I am giving one of my readers an brand new, original 16" Mickey Mouse Valentine's plush! You know the drill. Happy Valentine's Day, friends. You are loved.

Won't you please be Mickey's Valentine?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This giveaway starts now! You have until 11:59PM of Sunday, February 18, to accomplish the steps required by Rafflecopter. I shall draw the winner the following day. You must use a valid email address when registering for Rafflecopter. I will use that email address to notify you, should you be my winner. This giveaway is open to anyone with a Philippine address.

Happy Valentine's Day!

FIGHT!

I have a confession to make. 

In the past quarter, I have lost a little zeal. Not that I hated God, but I was so tired of waiting on His promises, that I just lost touch. There were days when I totally went without prayer - and it goes without saying that I also stopped reading my Bible. And eventually, life took over and I stopped going to church.

It's not that I didn't want to fight. It was more like I was so tired of fighting. I knew I had to wait on God's time, but I felt like I was fighting the battle on my own - and that I wasn't going anywhere.

When one of my best friends called to ask if I was doing Prayer and Fasting this year, I gave her a whole bunch of excuses (my way of defending the wrong things I do) - one of which was "nagtatampo ako kay God." I don't exactly know the correct English translation for this, but it is one way of saying I was disappointed with God. I was grumbling, in a way.

And I went back to those days when I prayed and prayed, and God never seemed to listen. My prayers would look like they were answered, but then I'd hit a brick wall, and go back to square one. It was very frustrating. I'd cry out to the heavens and ask God what I was doing wrong - even when, in my heart, I knew exactly what I was doing wrong.

Yes, I knew. I WASN'T FAITHFUL. Yes, I prayed, but it was more like prayer out of obligation. I was standing for my marriage, and yet, I was doubtful and not hopeful. I was back to wearing that mask. In my head, I kept reminding God about how I took that leap of faith, and it was as if He retorted with "What faith?"

And so I continued acting as if it was God who was at fault. Don't we do that? Play the blame game? And you know what else was more frustrating? The fact that I knew exactly what to do to get out of my rut, but I had neither the will nor the strength to correct my wrongs.

And so it went on, until I couldn't run away from God anymore.

I don't want another wake-up call. The first one came in the form of A getting Dengue back in October. Many more small wake-up calls came right after - they were pretty easy to ignore, except that they all came with flashing headlights telling me "God is waiting for you! Read your Bible! Pray!"

It isn't easy hiding from God. Especially because He seeks out his lost sheep. Imagine a faithful Father who loves you unconditionally, regardless of how you treat Him. Breaks my heart just thinking of the heartache and the longing I gave Him.

Anyway, this message spoke straight to my heart. And that best friend who asked me about Prayer and Fasting? The same one I gave a hundred and one excuses to about why I was disappointed with God, etc? Well she was in the congregation during this message and she sent me a text about how this message was especially for me. I sat through Church that Sunday (my first one in months!) and knew God was telling me to wake up.

Video courtesy of Victory Greenhills

You won't find a synopsis of the message on this post, nor an explanation on how it spoke to me. That's because I want you to take time out to watch it. It's pretty long, almost an hour in length, but it speaks volumes. If you are in a similar situation where you are lukewarm in your spiritual life, stop running away. Watch this, and wake up.

This battle isn't mine alone. It isn't just yours, either. It is His battle and He fights alongside you and me.

No wake up, calls, Lord! I am wide awake!

Praying for Patience

www.savagechickens.com

What movie was it that had the "God" character saying "...if you pray for patience... God gives you the opportunity to be patient?"

I don't see myself being patient at the moment. Instead, I am finding myself in situations where my patience is being tested - pulled, pushed and squished all together. Argh! Do you know how difficult it is to be in my shoes today? To do things the right and godly way - focusing on God and nothing else? Sure, easy to say, but so, so, soooo hard to do. I am losing patience by the gallon.

So help me, God.

I shall... OVERCOME!

I know most of you are saying, "there she goes again", "old story", "giving up daw". Believe me, I am as confused as you are. When I am on my knees, I have nothing on my plate but prayers for wisdom and direction. I must admit, I am disappointed, ashamed, and discouraged. But then, maybe God is telling me it is when I am broken that I will find I can do nothing else but trust that He is in charge of my situation. I don't know. Like I said, I am confused. I don't know what else to do, I have nothing else to give.

My US Principal sent this to me via email today. How timely. I've blogged about this particular release recently. But Mandisa's words did not speak as much then than it does to me today. My mind may keep changing (I am but only human), but my God is forever the same - faithful, all-powerful and just. His promises remain, and I suppose I should cling to that instead of my angry, resigned and disappointed disposition.

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(Please watch the video. It is very encouraging.)

You're an overcomer -
Stay in the fight '‘til the final round. 
You're not going under -
‘Cause God is holding you right now.
You might be down for a moment, 
Feeling like it's hopeless... 
That's when He reminds you,
That you're an overcomer. 
You're an overcomer.

Everybody's been down, 
Hit the bottom, hit the ground. 
Oh, you're not alone, 
Just take a breath, don't forget, 
Hang on to His promises. 
He wants you to know...

The same Man, the Great I Am -
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of you. 
So just hold tight, fix your eyes 
On the one who holds your life. 
There's nothing He can't do. 
He's telling you...
YOU'RE AN OVERCOMER!
(Overcomer, from the album Overcomer by Mandisa)

I had posted this verse on Facebook the other day. It was just one of those verses, you know, that came up on my Bible app.

“I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.” (John 16:33 NCV)

LORD, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS ROAD LEADS. YOU KNOW MY HEART AND HOW TIRED AND FRAIL I FEEL. NEVERTHELESS, I AM THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE HOLDING MY HAND. BLIND AS I MAY BE AS TO WHAT IS ON THE NEXT BEND, I AM TRUSTING THAT WHATEVER THIS IS, AND WHATEVER IT TAKES, YOU WILL BE GLORIFIED.

After all, it is Your story, not mine. It is Your victory, not mine. He is Yours, not mine.

Confused.

I had a blog post prior to this one, but I lost it when I forgot to save it. Was blogging in traffic, and the app doesn't keep drafts on standby when the ipad/iphone dies. Oh well. I had blogged about life and how it is short. T'was a general post brought about by thoughts that came to me while stuck in traffic. I was headed to a wake, the dad of my middle school "kuya" had passed on. 

Looking back at the thoughts that crossed my already confused mind, I am more confused now than ever. I am blogging at Starbucks, while waiting for R, who went to get something for the kids. Yes, in the province for work and chanced upon the H. *insert deep breath here*

I don't even know what to make of this. I came here determined, heart closed. Or so I thought. But talking to J last night about upholding the covenant, regardless, has made my determination woozy. I am confused. 

So. What now, Lord? What now? 

I am sooooo confused.

Short Visit

I know it's getting old, but please excuse the absence. See, R came home Friday night, and spent his birthday weekend with the kids. Let me rephrase that. R came home unannounced and required extra grace.

I am usually ok with surprise visits, provided that you treat your host with respect. He was okay Friday and Saturday, but Sunday, on his birthday, he treated us like sh*t. Forget that he wanted to spend time with his children, and that he had asked if he could go to church with us, or treat us out to lunch. He fell asleep in church, made a ruckus by taking the emergency exit when the pastor was in the middle of his message (causing the guard and another pastor to run after him, ayayay!), and demanded that we stop asking him to buy anything else, after he had spent a total of P105.00 for A's Quickly drink and RL's banana shake.

And so, the next few days were similar. He would get pissed because of this and that - forgetting he was no longer man of the house but a house guest. He helped himself to our pantry, stuffing himself with cans of Spam, fancy cereal and fruits - even when the nanny told him we were saving those for RL's bento. I do not wish to be greedy, but what should I feel when this man calls me out on P105.00 when I spend over 1000x on tuition, and even more for utilities, food, etc on a daily basis?!

Really, why do I even allow this?

I'm all for being nice, and fighting for my family. But I draw the line when the kids are involved - when they are affected and when he treats even his own with little respect.

He had an allergy attack Wednesday, and couldn't breathe. We were trying to calm him down, and administer medication, but he just kept yelling. I saw a glimpse of my future right there. My friends would always tease me how they foresee him coming home to us when he is old, sick and disabled. Oh please. I don't think I want a grumpy, old man for a husband. Really, where is the man I married? I do not see the old R in him anymore.

What am I saying here? This man - this man who keeps on invading our space, only when he feels like it, no longer belongs here. He is a different person. A stranger. I no longer know this man.

I want to be nice, but he's making it so difficult to even be civil.

I am glad the visit was short. Nevertheless, I am thankful it happened. It has opened my eyes, and has given me resolve. It's funny how wisdom comes right when reality hits you in the face.

This is it, pancit. 

Family Drama

I spent the whole of Saturday with the kids, and as usual, they started bickering and fighting. Let me tell you, it doesn't matter how far apart they are in age, they fight just the same.

And I, being the tired Momma, can't take it anymore.

So after reprimanding A and RL for the nth time that day (it was late, and we were at the grocery when they started another squabble on who gets to buy what, and who gets punished for not doing this or that, and "Mom, look he's touching that rusty chain!" and "Momma, she's poking me!" and well, you get the idea), I just about had it. After paying for our purchases, we left immediately and I gave them a lengthy sermon 'til we reached the house.

And I wasn't done with just that. Once we entered the house, I asked RL to go to the room and talked to him about disobedience and how Momma's tired of him not listening, etc. I gave him a couple of swats to his bottom, and he just stood there looking at me like I was some lunatic giving an Oscar speech. I was. I was talking up a storm. That, plus I was trying to get him to understand why I was sad and mad.

When it was A's turn, I was literally exhausted. I was telling her how tired I was of having to deal with the same thing over and over again, and that life isn't about getting what you want (she had wanted something earlier and had spent the rest of the day scowling because I had said 'No'). I went on to give her a piece of my heart. I told her how I've been sacrificing my wants (and sometimes my needs!) for their needs and wants, and how I haven't purchased anything for myself (aside from clothes) since I had gotten married. And how it was unfair that life was this way, but we had to make do, because life isn't always fair. And how I wished we could spend money without batting an eyelash, but right now, we are hard up and have to budget. And that life isn't a competition - and she, being the older sibling, should give way to her little brother who is only four (and knows only so much). By this time, I was already crying. I felt like a child. And yes, I know that was a low blow for me to be telling A all that, but I was on the verge of losing it (or wait, I must have)! I don't like having enemies, and the last thing I wanted was for my children to hate me for being such a stuck-up mom. I can't help it sometimes, we can't buy everything nor can we have our way all the time!

So when I made my last request, I was doing so in between loud sobs. I was telling her how sad it made me that she and RL kept fighting. She's the older sibling, she should be helping me instead of provoking her little brother. I told her how tired I was, and that we should be helping out each other instead of bickering and fighting all the time.

"It's just the three of us now. Can't we all get along? I'm so tired. I just want us to be happy. I hate it when you guys fight all the time. We are all we've got."

Then she starts sobbing. Out loud. And we hug. And I can't tell you if it felt good. Or worse. But I spent a good hour after that thinking about R and how he's probably having the time of his life with some girl, when here we were trying to deal with all his unfair choices and the potholes he left on our once good and promising road.

Family drama. I've had enough. After twelve long years, I think it's time to bring happy back.

Ten Years

Nine.
Next year marks the tenth.
I committed ten.
So do I wait?

Lord, I know I need only be still.
But.
But.
But.

I am tired.
I know it's on the next bend.
I know You will give me strength.
I know.

But.
Ten Years.
Ten Years.
Ten Years!

Nine.
Next year marks the tenth.
I committed ten.
I can wait one more year.

My Father's Eyes.

How hard can it be to love a person unconditionally - to see someone in a positive light, without falling into the same old emotion of defeat and insecurity that eventually brings retaliation? Painful. That's how hard it is.

It's been a struggle, I tell you. A struggle that's crazy and reminiscent of riding roller coasters. And yes, I've fallen off many times, but my God is faithful and His GRACE is sufficient.

Thankfully, there is change. Somewhere in there. Somewhere. There is change. A seed that has been planted, and I rejoice in it and because of it. Lord, I trust You are able to make something beautiful out of this season. I am grateful to be here. And although I do not know exactly what tomorrow holds, I trust You are in charge.

So yesterday, I've come to realize how immature I am as a Christian. How easily I fall prey to the devil's advances. *sob!* I am thankful however, that God has used it for His glory. That He called my attention to it. I must remember to call on Him first, before anything else. And I must keep in mind (and heart!) to see others through His eyes.

Loving unconditionally. What a lesson to master. 

A-yah! Extra grace required.

I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl,
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world.
But that's all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray:
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,

She's got her Father's eyes,
Her Father's eyes;
Eyes that find the good in things,
When good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help,
When help just can't be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.

And on that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done,
Good and bad they'll all be had to see by everyone.
And when you're called to stand and tell just what you saw in me,
More than anything I know, I want your words to be,

She had her Father's eyes,
Her Father's eyes;
Eyes that found the good in things,
When good was not around;
Eyes that found the source of help,
When help would not be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through,
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.
(Lyrics from the song Father's Eyes, by Amy Grant)

This Season...

You guys won't believe it, so I will not go into the nitty-gritty. My life has come to a halt. I am taking everything a day at a time. I have no idea what to make of this. I did not expect this. The truth is, I have somewhat stopped praying about this.

In church yesterday, while talking to our pastor, I was reminded that God knows the desires of our heart, regardless of what we profess or say to be so. I suppose this is what it is - matters of the heart.

As much as I am excited, I cannot help but put up a wall to protect myself - protect my heart. I do not want to get hurt. And I don't want my kids to get hurt.

If I told you all that has happened, you won't even believe it. But God is a God of wonder - One who moves in ways we cannot even imagine. He is UNLIMITED.

Lord, I don't know what this is, but I trust You are in charge, and I trust You know exactly what this is and where this will go. I am taking that leap of faith. Let's do this!

Pearl

Of all the Katy Perry songs A is crazy about, this is my favorite. The other night, on the way to Edsa Shangri-la for an after-concert party, A decided to talk to me about this song.

"It reminds me of you, Ma."

Lyric Video Credit: MyUniverseMusic on Youtube

PEARL

She is a pyramid

But with him she's just a grain of sand 

This love's too strong like mice and men

Squeezing out the life that should be let in

 She was a hurricane-cane-cane-cane

But now she's just a gust of wind 

She used to set the sails of a thousand ships

 Was a force to be reckoned with

She could be a statue of liberty

She could be a Joan of Arc

But he's scared of the light that's inside of her

So he keeps her in the dark

Oh, she used to be a pearl...

Ohh Yeah, she used to rule the world...

Ohh Can't believe she's become a shell of herself 

'Cause she used to be a pearl 

She was unstoppable

Moved fast just like an avalanche

But now she's stuck deep in cement

Wishing that they'd never ever met

She could be a statue of liberty

She could be a Joan of Arc

But he's scared of the light that's inside of her

So he keeps her in the dark

Oh, she used to be a pearl...

Ohh Yeah, she used to rule the world...

Ohh Can't believe she's become a shell of herself 

'Cause she used to be a - 

Do you know that there's a way out, 

there's a way out

there's a way out 

there's a way out

You don't have to be held down, 

be held down

be held down

 be held down

'Cause I used to be a shell

Yeah, I let him rule my world

my world, ohh, yeah

But I woke up and grew strong

And I can still go on

And no one can take my pearl

You don't have to be shell,

No You're the one that rules your world, ohh 

You are strong

and you'll learn that you can still go on

And you'll always be a pearl

She is unstoppable

So yea, this is my anthem this week. I hope you find encouragement in Katy Perry's Pearl and find the strength to find yourself again.

AB Marriage/ BS Parenting

Do you ever wonder why one would need years of training to become a professional and yet none to be a spouse or parent? I mean, look at doctors, bankers, etc. A doctor takes years of school and training; bankers have at least four; heck, even an office assistant needs at least two years of vocational school to start work! Whereas some couples go into marriage and parenting without relationship and nurturing credentials to their name. So yes, did you ever wonder why?

A lot of marriages today fail because, let's face it, couples rush into it unprepared. Why should one or two pre-wedding seminars suffice? If a spouse's role or a parent's role is most vital in a person's life, then, why, pray tell, do we go into unions as novice and not experts?

I should know as I rushed into marriage as well - unprepared for what was to be my role for the rest of my life. I remember when, after R and I started having problems (the bigger ones that count), my friend F told me about how we should seek counseling or attend family seminars to save our marriage. I had pushed the idea aside, thinking I knew better, when really, I knew nothing about saving marriages and keeping my family intact.

R and I have been 'physically' separated for about 2+ years now. Nothing could have prepared us (kids included) for what was to come after he left. Communication was hard (we always ended up on each other's nerves) and visits were nil (especially when he moved South). And I suppose, the hardest thing for a parent was to explain the situation to the kids (more for A, but RL has been asking more about his dad lately). If I was unprepared to be a mom, how much more a single mom! I needed help. I sought the advice of friends and family, and although I appreciate their opinion and take on my situation, most didn't know exactly what I had to go through (as most, in fact, none of them knew how it was to be separated - I am blessed with friends in healthy, godly marriages, ha!).

If parenting is hard for couples, what more for those who have to tackle being BOTH mom AND dad alone? Single parenting is tough. Having a family is no joke. It is the basic unit that affects every individual. I want to be the best parent I can be to my kids, but really, I can only do so with God's grace. I don't even know how and where to start! So I reiterate, why do we go into starting a family unequipped?

Apparently, I am not alone in this thought. Last year, three friends saw the need to help couples prepare themselves for marriage and parenting. They got together to organize what is to be the first-ever FAMILY CONGRESS in the Philippines, happening on August 25, 2012.

Meet Maribel Dionisio, Rowie Matti and Fides Reyes - the organizers behind this big event. I got the privilege of meeting the three ladies during a parenting talk a few Saturdays ago. Maribel Dionisio co-organized the 1st Ateneo Family Congress in 2005. The desire to educate couples and parents spurred her desire to put up FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 - BFF: BUILDING THE FILIPINO FAMILY. With the help of organizing expert, Fides Reyes (F.I.D. Event Services) and educator, Rowie Matti (Galileo Enrichment Learning Program), Maribel hopes to help educate Filipino families about relationships and love.

The Family behind FAMILY CONGRESS 2012!
Clockwise from Top:  Maribel S. Dionisio, Ma. Rowena J. Matti and Fides M. Reyes

FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 aims to provide a venue for learning by gathering the best experts in the field of psychology, parenting, and relationship to share their knowledge to family members, educators and organizations in the most effective and simplest way.

Check out the line up of talks, speakers and activities during this whole-day affair:

AM Sessions:
* Migrating and Managing the Digital World by Queena Lee-Chua, Ph.D.
* Handling the Bully and the Bullied by Honey Carandang, Ph.D.
* Built for Forever: Preparing Singles for a Lifetime Relationship by Rissa Singson-Kawpeng
* Teen Talk about Love, Sex, and Dating by Dan and Nabelle Caballes
* From Wellness to Wholeness (for adults 21 & up) by Harriet Hormillosa, M.A.   
PM Sessions:
* Being Friends Forever in Marriage: Learning the Art of Fighting by Allan Dionisio, M.D. and Maribel Dionisio, M.A.
* Teaching Parents to Talk to Kids & Teens about Crushes, Sex & Relationship by Michelle Alignay. M.A. and Aiza Tabayoyong
* Managing Teen Emotions by Obet Cabrillas
* Career, Relationship, and Life Plan for Singles by Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 
* Beyond the Tears: Griefwork by Cathy Babao-Guballa

All registered participants get to choose one session in the morning, and another in the afternoon. Aside from these 2 sessions, guests will also get to hear inspirational messages from Archbishop Luis Antonio Tagle and motivational speaker, Francis Kong!

How I wish they started having this 10 years ago! But then, it's never too late to learn the ropes on how to nourish a lifetime commitment. At least now, I know better.

FAMILY CONGRESS 2012 - BFF: BUILDING THE FILIPINO FAMILY will be held on August 25, 2012, from 8AM to 5PM, at the Valle Verde Country Club, Pasig City. It is presented by The Love Institute, in partnership with Galileo Enrichment Learning Program and F.I.D. Event Services.

Early Bird Rate I (register on or before April 30): P1300
Early Bird Rate II (register between May 1 to June 30): P1400
Regular Rate: P1500 per attendee
Promo Rate: 6+1! (Pay for 6, get 1 FREE, based on regular rate of P1500 each)

Registration fee is inclusive of seminar fee, meals an loads of swag!

For more information on FAMILY CONGRESS 2012, call the following numbers:
(02) 579-0100
(0917) 897-2903
(0922) 252-1896

Email: familycongress@gmail.com
Twitter: @FamCong2012
Facebook: /FamilyCongress

Unoffendable

Today I am trying to be more unoffendable. It is a choice I choose to make. Similar to the choice one makes when he chooses to live the Christian life.  It is no easy task. You can either be a Christian by name, OR walk the talk.

Yesterday, as I drove home with A (we had two events in the Makati area), I received a text from R (he flew back last week). He asked if we could pick him up from the gym, and although we had originally planned to pass by a supplier's store to pick up some stuff, A was asleep so I agreed to swing by for him. Turns out he needed to go somewhere North. I asked him to drive instead. A and I were really tired and I wanted to go home to RL, but I chose not to say anything.

When we got to the Scout Area, R asked to be dropped off somewhere. So really, he just needed a free ride. He didn't even ride home with us. Technically, we were off the route by about 6 kilometers. I wanted to say what was on my mind but decided to just hold my tongue.  

Earlier yesterday, as I drove from one event to the other, I volunteered to shuttle some Blogger friends to and fro. And I did that with pleasure because I wanted to help my friends out. It shouldn't be any different with R - even if it seemed out of place. I mean, it shouldn't even reach the WWJD question. I should have felt the same pleasure I did when I helped my friends earlier. Which, honestly speaking, I didn't. 

Lord, I need to be more unoffendable. Especially with those that require Your Extra Grace.

I Can't Believe It!

I was talking to R after the New Year holidays and mentioned how I wanted to go to this nearby country to work. On a recent trip there, I noticed the number of Filipinos working comfortably, and noted that a number of my friends have moved there as well.

That phone conversation lasted quite a while, with R asking me questions about this and that, mentioning that he has friends there, too, and if I thought he'd make it there. At 40, it would be easy if he had great skills. But who knows? This man has proven me wrong so many times in the past.

~~~

I called in sick today, because my chest hurts from too much dry coughing. Right before dinner, I get a call from an overseas number. I take one look, thinking it was a colleague from that country, and answered quickly. Hala! It turned out to be R! Apparently, he's been there for a week and is presently looking for work! What happened to that being MY dream? I can't believe it! This is how easy it is for someone without direct responsibilities to pack up and leave. I asked him about his things and he says he packed them in boxes and left it with his landlord for safekeeping. O_o

Oh well. I wish him well. I can only pray God leads him where He wants him to go. He allowed this to happen. So it must be His will. And my dream? Well, it's still on the drawing board. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

But yea, WOW. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! O_o

Happy Hearts Day!

May your heart find fulfillment in The One who brings you real joy. :) Happy Valentines Day!

What Blog?

Yes, I've been snoozing. The blog has been off the radar for quite some time now. I am sure many of you are wondering why, as I've received many a tweet and comment on this as well. I always give the same answer: life got in the way...

But here's the real deal.

The past year has brought many realizations. One of which is connected to the underlying purpose of this blog - which was a document of sorts for my fight quest to save my marriage. I know I write about other stuff, but this was how the blog name came about, and the rest, as they say, is history. Along the way, however, I've come to realize that it was a tiring, tiring journey. And I was losing momentum, if not losing direction.

So because I did not want to come across as a hypocrite, I decided to stop blogging. For a while. Get my thoughts together. Get back my fervor. Get back my stride.

2011 sure wasn't my year. I ended it with a bang (well, sort of) and found myself searching my innermost thoughts and scouring my soul over the Christmas-New Year holidays, only to come out more confused, and undecided as to which path I really wanted to take.

But God has been good. He remained faithful, even when I didn't. He never did let go. While I... well, I barely hung on.

So excuse the absence and expect a comeback. For finally, I've realized that my path isn't to work on something that I cannot fix. But to trust that God has something great in the end, whether the outcome is to my liking or not. I cannot predict a happy end to my quest. I trust God knows what's best for me, and that He will deliver. What that may be... well, I am excited to discover.

Will you still join me on my journey? See you around!

Would You Leave a Legacy of Divorce?

Once again, I opened up my FB account to a barrage of messages from friends. Too many things happening in marriages, one can get lost in the flurry. Early this evening, I received a DM from T. Her husband wants a divorce. Apparently, his resolve was brought about by his mom's encouragement. Ah yes, the mother in law. I know the story - I've been there; I've done that.

It's so easy to get caught in the fray. One day you're repentant, the next day, you're all riled up and ready to call it quits. The devil sure doesn't waste any time when he sees a way to put "breaking the family" into fourth gear. I am not surprised at how fast the devil is working on this one. Too vulnerable. Too many things happening in their lives. 

But really, I was telling T, she has more working in her favor (well over my case, that is). Her husband loves God. He was working as a youth counselor in church when they first met. Unlike R, this guy loves and fears the Lord. At least, she has that in the bag. 

~~~

There are some things I don't understand when it comes to parents choosing divorce over working things out. I know that some people find it ridiculous to keep a marriage for the sake of the kids. Yes, I've heard that argument before. But folks, if you truly care for your kids, would you want to leave them a legacy of divorce? Remember, sins are passed on from generation to generation. You allow adultery and divorce to set foot into your household, it will stay forever. 

It's about time you break the curse! 

Sure, sure, you can tell me that God never meant for life to be miserable. Tell me, is life ever always pleasant? You married your spouse. You promised to love and to cherish this one person, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, 'til death do you part. And yet, you let one trial pull you down, and you're ready to throw in the towel. Tell me, why'd you get married in the first place? 

SHAKE IT OFF! The devil is trying to fool you into thinking life is greener on the other side of the fence. He is feeding you lies. Of course it looks inviting! Think about the consequences. Think 10 steps ahead. Don't live in the here and now.

STOP RATIONALIZING IT! You're tired. You can't continue this charade. You want out. You don't want to keep lying to yourself. Goodness, stop rationalizing your resolve to quit! Whichever way you want to look at it, this isn't God's way. He never, NEVER meant for husbands and wives to separate! 

Matthew 19:6
(NIV) "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

THINK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN. Okay, I know what you're thinking but give me a chance here. Find me a child or (an adult) who'd say, "My parents are separated, but I have no divorce-related issues." I'll bet you a cheeseburger you won't find one. Kids are sensitive. They have their ideals. Resilient as they may seem, divorce breaks them - emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically. I got reconnected with an old family friend on Facebook last year. Her parents were missionaries to the Philippines, and were popular church leaders. I always wondered why they left for the US in a huff, only to find out after all these years that their parents got divorced. They were already adults when this happened. One was even married with kids. And did they get by okay?  "It doesn't matter how old you are, it still hurts," says D, referring to her parents' divorce.

FOCUS ON GOD. Man will always fail you. So when the going gets tough, stop focusing on each other's faults. Give this to God. He doesn't expect you to change overnight. He doesn't expect you to weather that storm alone. Before you make a life-changing decision, make sure you are in the center of God's will. I am 100% sure He won't call on you to take that step towards breaking the family. God says "I hate divorce."

Malachi 2:16
(NCV) "The Lord God of Israel says, I hate divorce. And I hate people who do cruel things as easily as they put on clothes, says the Lord All-Powerful. So be careful. And do not break your trust."
(ESV) "For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless."
(NIV) “The man who hates and divorces his wife, says the LORD, the God of Israel, does violence to the one he should protect, says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

READ YOUR BIBLE! I went through this and learned this the hard way. Kept asking friends what I should do. Racked up my phone bill calling this person and that person just to get advice, but really, you are God's creation. He knows what's best for you. And best way for you to find out how to troubleshoot life's problems is to read your life's manual. No other way to find out which step to take unless you immerse yourself in God's word. Let Him reveal His plans. You don't have to rely on someone else's advice (not even mine!). That someone else is not you! He or she doesn't know your heart, but God does! He knows exactly how you feel. He knows every emotion. He knows how hard it is to put up that front of showing others you can do it without your spouse when bottomline is, you just really want your marriage intact. HE KNOWS.

PRAY! GIVE IT TO GOD. LET HIM TAKE THE WHEEL. I'll say it again. You can't do this alone. You were never meant to do this alone. Let God handle this for you. He is bigger than all this. BIGGER. He knows what's on the next bend. Forget what others may say. It doesn't matter. You can't justify divorce by saying it worked for someone else so it should work fine for you. You are accountable to One and no one else. Who cares if society says it is okay to separate or get annulled and divorced? WHO CARES? You don't have to adapt to what the world says! It's your life.In the end, it's all about conviction. What is God telling you? Live your life by His standards. In the end, He calls the shots.

Guest Blogger: T

I have been so busy at the office that I haven't had time to blog. That, plus broadband at home is on and off. So today, we're doing it a tad different. I have a Guest Blogger! My friend T wrote this on her blog today and I asked if I could repost for all of you. If you regularly check my reading pane on the left (Daily Read), you will find her blog there. T and I were schoolmates back when life was easier. We've both had to deal with trials in our lives - we each have a heavy cross to carry, and yet, we find encouragement in each other.

T has had to deal with more than her fair share of hardship in the past 10 years, and more in the past month alone. She wrote this piece to get a load off her chest. I love how she writes, and I hope you find this piece beautiful. I was in tears.

Operation: Rescue

I think I lost all my writing skills this past week. In fact, I have lost a lot of things in my life that it probably would never be the same again. I don't understand it. I cannot wrap my head around the betrayal I've had to face these past few days. I feel disgusted, upset, furious, hurt, relieved, confused... just about every emotion a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister would never want to feel. I opened doors wide open to something that Ive worked so hard on. The very thing I valued the most.

I opened my marriage unknowingly to Satan. I handed it on a silver platter to him.

Now, here I am. Broken. In pieces. In shock. The truth hit me like a sledge hammer in my heart, a knife through my back. I literally felt the physical pain when God handed me the bitter truth in the worst possible way. I remember feeling lightheaded and kapow! Game over. It probably would be a tad bit easier... just a tad bit easier if I had a slight insight. Or if the other party was someone I didn't know. But to be absolutely CLUELESS and all of a sudden shoved with the truth to your face... well, I felt like an absolute jerk. It took all my self control not to self destruct or worst, destroy him.

The biggest question that I wanted to know was WHY? Why did they do this to me? Why did this all happen right under my nose without me knowing? I was with her every weekend. I talked and chatted with her everyday. I just saw her 3 weeks ago. The last thing she did was hold me and whispered in my ear "I love you T. Sobra, you don't even know how much. Love na love kita."

Good God. It makes my stomach churn.

I gave him an out. I said the door is open. Walk out. Go ahead. If she is your true love, I don't want you to come back to me someday and tell me that I kept you from leaving. Not my style. Unlike her, I didn't threaten to kill myself if he left. I will not pretend that it'd be ok that he would walk out, but it would not kill me. I gave him 3 days to decide. He said he didn't need three days. That he knew he loved me, his family...that she was a cry for help.

But what do I know? Everything I knew, treasured and cared for almost the past year was a lie. It makes me shiver how I let that person in my house. Cared for her like a sister. Defended her when everybody told me that she was lurking like a lion ready to pounce. I said she would never be able to do something like that to me! She's a good friend. I cannot even wrap my head around something like that... incomprehensible to the point of impossible. No one can be that thick. Nobody can be that big of a snake. I would never do something like that, therefore nobody could hurt me that way as well.

BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.

I wasn't prepared at all. Just thinking about it right now makes my blood boil.

Now, where do we go from here? Now here I am picking up the bits and pieces they broke. Who is hurting the most now? Now I have to give out blind trust... its not fair. Trust is earned. Now that's all gone. Now if i want to move on, I have to take a leap of faith. It reminds me of that scene in Indiana Jones where he was at the edge of the cliff and he kept mumbling "leap of faith. leap of faith." Then he threw himself over and sure enough Jehovah provided the road.

The key word in that scene was Jehovah. For him to take that leap of faith, he had to spell out God's name. Call it out and take that leap of faith.

The past week and a half has been an absolute turmoil. But it finally broke me. I had to search my heart and look at the deepest part of me. I had to make myself accountable. Between me and my God. I had to take myself back 18 years ago. I had to take myself back the past year. Now I see things clearly. So clearly that I could kick myself if I could.

I had to call out to God. All of a sudden my philosophy with her was ridiculous. "Do what makes you happy. Do it. Life is short. Whatever makes us happy. Who cares what others say?"

What a silly outlook. What a selfish, conceited, overconfident outlook that I had. It was just like saying "Who cares what God says? if it feels good, it must be ok. It makes me happy. So there."

Boy, I could see God just grabbing me by the neck on that high horse and pushing me to the ground.

And God said ENOUGH.
Enough of your pride.
Enough of your confidence in yourself.
Enough of doing what makes you happy, out of God's will.
Enough of the blatant disregard for the rules of life.
Your enemy will never play fair. Never.

God gave me all the warning I needed. Through lessons on friendship on how I needed to step back . Through people. Everybody warned me. That's no exaggeration. Everybody who was close to me warned me. But because my perception was so distorted, reality escaped me like a bird flying in the dark. God loved me so much that He warned me "There's a storm coming. A big one."

And I DID NOT LISTEN.

In the end, the last straw is always to go back. Back to basics. Back to the Lord. The words "Apart from me you are nothing" plays over and over in my head. Apart from God, we are unworthy. Apart from Him, we will self destruct. Apart from Him, everything is in shambles. Meaningless.

But praise God. In all things give praise.
It was a bitter pill to swallow. But I had to.
It was a lesson in unconditional love. Absolute forgiveness.

All of a sudden my marriage meant the world to me. For the past years I have threatened to give up. Walk away. Start anew. Now I have every reason to go. Every reason to walk away. Every right to wrap it all up... it made me realize how much my husband meant to me. How I want to believe that He who began a good work in me and him will be faithful to complete it. That we are both accountable. Forget her. Easier said than done, but forget her. The forbidden fruit tastes good. The thrill of it. But you bite into that you are immediately cast out of your Eden. Out of God's will.

God forgive me. I trusted people instead of You. I looked the other way even though You tried to break it to me gently. I waited for failure.

But my God is a God of mercy. It's been years since we've both prayed together. Now we are down on our knees, begging. Begging for God to take us back in his Will. Begging him to take a hold of the mess we created. Offering ourselves in sacrifice, holy and acceptable to be called children of God once again.

In the end, God saved my soul. My life. AGAIN . Again and again and again.

Last night my husband reminded me of a song he dedicated to me when he was still trying to date me. Now the words of "So Amazing" by Luther Vandross meant the world to me. All of a sudden it wasn't as cheesy as I told him then. I forgot about that. We are both reminded. We have come so far. Since 1993.

It's not easy. One minute I'm ok, the next I feel someone's bashing me in the head. All these rollercoaster of emotions.

She is not important. She's an absolute nobody in the bigger picture. She was not my friend to begin with. Now that I am looking back, she had her eyes dead set on ruining us. Day one. I had an instinct on day one but I got distracted. Distracted by other situations. Distracted by flattery. Distracted by my warped way of looking at life.

Sometimes I wonder why I let myself go so far away again from looking to God when I of all people should know first hand that God will not be mocked. He will not stand idly by and let his children destroy themselves.

This circumstance revealed both our characters. How weak we are. Pathetic. Apart from God's will we are headed for failure. 100% guaranteed destruction.

When all this was revealed, I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy all this time. Now, I don't know him.

But everyday, things get better. Even the slightest inch helps.

Someday I will heal.

Right now I am rediscovering him in an entirely new way. My role is suddenly redefined. I had to stake my claim. Fight for what is rightfully mine. Aggressively. Satan is not sitting by like a dove. He is aggressively trying to kill, steal and destroy me. I have to put on my armour. My dusty, old armour and fight for what God has given me . What he set apart for me. I will go to battle , eyes wide open. I will not be moved. I claim victory in my life. I claim happiness. I claim my husband.

God rescued me. He rescued him. He rescued my family. He said He will not leave me nor forsake me and He made good on that promise. He had no plans for us to end this way. He didn't give us miracle after miracle just so we can just waste it. But we had to make that choice. That holy vow we did 15 years ago. It is holy. What God has put together let no man put asunder. It was sealed with a kiss. A holy kiss. Not the kiss of death . The gift of new life. From that holy vow came 3 children we both would take a bullet for. That holy vow was made in love. In faith.

God, take me back in to the Holy of Holies. I am absolutely horrified with myself at how blatantly I mocked you through my life that you have so preciously preserved.

I am standing at the edge of the cliff.

J-E-H-O-V-A-H.

Leap of faith.

Leap of faith.

And my Jehovah provided a road to stand on. A way out. Leap of faith.

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them and not find them–Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.” Isaiah 41:10-13

Taken from Work In Progress - my good friend T's blog here. Please include her and her family in your prayers.