FIGHT!

I have a confession to make. 

In the past quarter, I have lost a little zeal. Not that I hated God, but I was so tired of waiting on His promises, that I just lost touch. There were days when I totally went without prayer - and it goes without saying that I also stopped reading my Bible. And eventually, life took over and I stopped going to church.

It's not that I didn't want to fight. It was more like I was so tired of fighting. I knew I had to wait on God's time, but I felt like I was fighting the battle on my own - and that I wasn't going anywhere.

When one of my best friends called to ask if I was doing Prayer and Fasting this year, I gave her a whole bunch of excuses (my way of defending the wrong things I do) - one of which was "nagtatampo ako kay God." I don't exactly know the correct English translation for this, but it is one way of saying I was disappointed with God. I was grumbling, in a way.

And I went back to those days when I prayed and prayed, and God never seemed to listen. My prayers would look like they were answered, but then I'd hit a brick wall, and go back to square one. It was very frustrating. I'd cry out to the heavens and ask God what I was doing wrong - even when, in my heart, I knew exactly what I was doing wrong.

Yes, I knew. I WASN'T FAITHFUL. Yes, I prayed, but it was more like prayer out of obligation. I was standing for my marriage, and yet, I was doubtful and not hopeful. I was back to wearing that mask. In my head, I kept reminding God about how I took that leap of faith, and it was as if He retorted with "What faith?"

And so I continued acting as if it was God who was at fault. Don't we do that? Play the blame game? And you know what else was more frustrating? The fact that I knew exactly what to do to get out of my rut, but I had neither the will nor the strength to correct my wrongs.

And so it went on, until I couldn't run away from God anymore.

I don't want another wake-up call. The first one came in the form of A getting Dengue back in October. Many more small wake-up calls came right after - they were pretty easy to ignore, except that they all came with flashing headlights telling me "God is waiting for you! Read your Bible! Pray!"

It isn't easy hiding from God. Especially because He seeks out his lost sheep. Imagine a faithful Father who loves you unconditionally, regardless of how you treat Him. Breaks my heart just thinking of the heartache and the longing I gave Him.

Anyway, this message spoke straight to my heart. And that best friend who asked me about Prayer and Fasting? The same one I gave a hundred and one excuses to about why I was disappointed with God, etc? Well she was in the congregation during this message and she sent me a text about how this message was especially for me. I sat through Church that Sunday (my first one in months!) and knew God was telling me to wake up.

Video courtesy of Victory Greenhills

You won't find a synopsis of the message on this post, nor an explanation on how it spoke to me. That's because I want you to take time out to watch it. It's pretty long, almost an hour in length, but it speaks volumes. If you are in a similar situation where you are lukewarm in your spiritual life, stop running away. Watch this, and wake up.

This battle isn't mine alone. It isn't just yours, either. It is His battle and He fights alongside you and me.

No wake up, calls, Lord! I am wide awake!

Instant!

It's Prayer and Fasting Week at church, and although I've been feeling so out of it early this week, I found myself heading to Greenhills for Bible Study. It was a Wednesday night, and I decided at the very last minute - it was at 630, and I was coded.

But at 645, I decided to just go for it. I got to the center at around 715 - just when they introduced the guest speaker. I had received a text from my small group leader L, so I knew who was speaking. I don't remember ever attending a talk by Pastor Jojo Henson, but knew he had the gift of prophesy. The evening was nothing short of wow. The whole time, I was in awe of God's love.

The message that stuck to my heart that night is short but meaningful - "The Lord can change your circumstances in an instant." Many times, we're quick to doubt even the clearest of promises - yes, even those in the Bible. But God never fails. He always keeps His promises. Oftentimes, man just doesn't know how to hope in God. Plus, it is human nature to always attempt to fix things on your own before remembering to call on the Lord.

Just this week alone, I have been constantly reminded that the Lord is in the business of restoration. But of course, doubt seeps through every crack and cranny of my brain and heart, and I always have this spirit of suspicion and unbelief. Early this week, during quiet time, I felt God telling me that I may doubt the intentions and actions of others, but I should never doubt Him. "I can do all things, Kaye. With me, all things are possible."

Pastor Jojo Henson gave a great example of instant restoration in a story that happened just a few weeks ago.

His son studies in the Taft area, and because they lived in the South, they always meet halfway. He was to pick his son up along Sucat Road that evening, but it was so traffic on the way to Sucat that he decided to call his son, who was then already waiting for him, and they both agreed to see each other at home instead.

On the way home, he notices that traffic to Sucat had eased up so he decides to make a u-turn and headed back to pick up his son. He calls him on his mobile but found that his son wasn't picking up. Which was odd, because he was just speaking to him on the phone less than 5 minutes ago. So he tries and tries and finally, a voice he doesn't recognize picks up. He asked for his son, but the man on the other end ends the call. After trying several times, he calls his other son at home and tells him to try calling his brother's phone. True enough, someone else answers and kills the call.

As with any dad, he was worried. After what seemed like forever, he reaches Sucat Road, and asks his daughter (who was with him in the car) to go out of the car and walk towards the meeting place to see if she sees her brother. Later, he sees his son with his daughter and he gets down to ask what happened.

"Dad, I got held up." 

Apparently, after the last phone call where they had agreed to meet at home, a man puts a sharp object against his side and declares a hold up. Three other guys were with him, and they took his phone and other belongings. He shouts for help, and the men run across the street and away from him. He was about to give chase, when he decides to stop and pray.

"Thank You, Lord, for sparing my life."

And he goes on to lift up his circumstance (and belongings) to God.

After a few minutes, while deciding what to do next, he spots two men - strangers to him - walking across from him, and holding a bag. His bag! So he approaches them and claims the bag as his. The men explained that they saw some guys running away, and felt they didn't own the bag so they got it (I didn't really understand this part but anyway...). So anyway, long story short, he got back his bag and when he opened it, everything was intact! His iPad, his books, his laptop, Touch, etc were all in the bag!

!!!

INSTANT.

How many times do we remember to call on God first? How many times do we remember that we have a BIG GOD? Do we actually believe He is bigger than anything? Bigger than our broken relationship, than our sickness, than our financial problems, etc.?

God can change your circumstances in an instant.

BELIEVE! He is mighty to save!