Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Lost Cause

I know I have not been blogging. And that you're probably wondering what's wrong. Aside from the fact that my daughter A has exams once again (I know, AGAIN!), but as I've said in previous posts, my life has come to a halt.

I still cannot explain exactly what that means, but maybe this will help you figure it out: I have had to deal with someone from the past. Yes, please go figure. And it hasn't been easy. Every single day is a battle of the wills - mine and God's. I've had to ask God over a thousand times for reason - for logic and purpose. For over a zillion doses of Grace (and yes, His mercies are new every morning!) just to get me through each day. My friend M has advised me to take each day one at a time, but it has been more like one minute at a time. Everyday, time just drags. At a pace that I sometimes can no longer stand. What is this, Lord? Why? Why now?

I must admit that I am not at peace with the situation I am currently in. Today, for example, when I spoke to this person, I couldn't help but feel pity. What a lost cause, I had thought to myself . It has been years since life threw lemons at this person - lemons as a result of bad choices. What day is it today? You could have turned your life around. But no, instead, you went on doing same old. And now, at your crossroads, what?

I wanted to say a million things today to drive this person away.

But the Holy Spirit made me see the situation in a different light. Nowhere to turn. This person has nowhere to go.

So today, I pray you find what it means to be loved by God. I may think you are a lost cause, but to God, you are a promise. He loves you more than anyone will ever do. And you are more important to him than you will ever be to me. He loves you. And His love should be enough.

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