Friday, August 23, 2013

Short Visit

I know it's getting old, but please excuse the absence. See, R came home Friday night, and spent his birthday weekend with the kids. Let me rephrase that. R came home unannounced and required extra grace.

I am usually ok with surprise visits, provided that you treat your host with respect. He was okay Friday and Saturday, but Sunday, on his birthday, he treated us like sh*t. Forget that he wanted to spend time with his children, and that he had asked if he could go to church with us, or treat us out to lunch. He fell asleep in church, made a ruckus by taking the emergency exit when the pastor was in the middle of his message (causing the guard and another pastor to run after him, ayayay!), and demanded that we stop asking him to buy anything else, after he had spent a total of P105.00 for A's Quickly drink and RL's banana shake.

And so, the next few days were similar. He would get pissed because of this and that - forgetting he was no longer man of the house but a house guest. He helped himself to our pantry, stuffing himself with cans of Spam, fancy cereal and fruits - even when the nanny told him we were saving those for RL's bento. I do not wish to be greedy, but what should I feel when this man calls me out on P105.00 when I spend over 1000x on tuition, and even more for utilities, food, etc on a daily basis?!

Really, why do I even allow this?

I'm all for being nice, and fighting for my family. But I draw the line when the kids are involved - when they are affected and when he treats even his own with little respect.

He had an allergy attack Wednesday, and couldn't breathe. We were trying to calm him down, and administer medication, but he just kept yelling. I saw a glimpse of my future right there. My friends would always tease me how they foresee him coming home to us when he is old, sick and disabled. Oh please. I don't think I want a grumpy, old man for a husband. Really, where is the man I married? I do not see the old R in him anymore.

What am I saying here? This man - this man who keeps on invading our space, only when he feels like it, no longer belongs here. He is a different person. A stranger. I no longer know this man.

I want to be nice, but he's making it so difficult to even be civil.

I am glad the visit was short. Nevertheless, I am thankful it happened. It has opened my eyes, and has given me resolve. It's funny how wisdom comes right when reality hits you in the face.

This is it, pancit. 

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