Affordable Quality Education

My biggest fear with single parenting is not being able to provide my kids with quality education. When A started studying, R got her into his company education plan, and received subsidy for her. Today, both A and RL study in big schools, and it is a pain to make payments, I tell you. But I am blessed with a God who provides, and I can only pray they take this privilege and use it as best they can.

Photo from the APEC Facebook page.

Because really, education is a privilege. Although a basic right, we all know that not everyone in this country gets access to education. My cousin A, who runs a program in Capiz for children of farmers, knows this all too well. When she first introduced her program, she found that parents would opt for their children to work the fields vs going to school. Because although schooling is free in public schools, they cannot afford to feed their kids and send them to school.

And what about quality education? 

A few weeks ago, while discussing enrollment plans with our temp helper, she mentioned that although her son goes to a semi-private school, she can only hope that he gets to find a good paying job after high school. Her eldest is pretty smart. He dreams of going to college, but right off, our helper says they cannot afford it. So when my friend Jen Tan shared about APEC schools on her Facebook page, I knew this was the answer! The country needs this.

APEC Schools is a partnership between Ayala and Pearson to transform Filipino lives through affordable, high quality education.

APEC or Affordable Private Education Center is a chain of private schools that offer quality private education based on international standards at an incredible, affordable price! Imagine sending your child to a school that offers World-class education - all for less than P24,000! That's for the whole year! And because they understand the needs of the working class Filipino who find it difficult to provide for their children, APEC's goal is to prepare their students for the real world right after they graduate from high school.

All APEC schools are accepting incoming 7th Grade students for this school year, and enrollment is still on-going. They currently have 12 branches. Classes start on July 14.

Checking out the APEC flyer at a Better Me session.

And with Ayala and Pearson at the helm, how can you go wrong? To know more about APEC schools, visit their Facebook page here or call them at (02) 956.7621.

On that Road to a #BetterMe

I had typed the first part of this post at an airport, while waiting for my flight. Delayed turn-around flight, apparently. So I had a few hours to spare. I spent it thinking. And writing this (well, part of it). I had time to contemplate, and all these thoughts kept swirling in my head.

A few weeks months (!!!) ago, Kris (aka OCMomInManila) invited me to attend a Better Me event. At first, I didn't really know what to expect, except that it was a SoMoms thing, and Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo was speaking. Better Me. At the last minute, I took another look at the invite and noted it was about nurturing relationships with the spouse and children - alright, perfect.

I went to the talk with reservations. I must admit, with all that has happened this past year, my heart had given up. I had already decided that my marriage was, in fact, over. You must be wondering, why now? Why has it taken me this long to wake up. Please read on.

For the past 10 years, I have committed to fight for my family. The last three years saw me fighting a losing battle. My heart was weak. My spirit crushed. I no longer had it in me to go on. Part of me wanted to blame God for being silent. My prayers were left unanswered.

Then right before Christmas of 2012, my spouse came home and asked for forgiveness. Yes, R! I was floored. I didn't know what to make of it. I had been living my days without him in mind, without a prayer for restoration. Yes, you read that right. I was putting up a front - for the past year at least. In my head, I knew I had to keep praying, but my heart didn't have the will nor the desire to go on fighting for him. I brainwashed myself - filled my thoughts with the ugly pieces that made up the conundrum that is my husband.

Two weeks into it, one of our pastors prayed with me and told me to take a leap of faith. Another chance. And yet, a few weeks after that, I saw the old R. Same old, same old. And I built walls around my heart once again. No way was I going to let him hurt me this time. The wall went up. The mask, too. Three months later, he left. And you know, I blamed myself for allowing it to happen. I blamed myself for allowing him to penetrate the walls I had put up to keep my heart (and my kids' hearts) safe. My kids were hoping for restoration. And yet, I failed them.

The rest of 2013 went without hitch. We remained status quo - friends, married, separated, and yet, what were we exactly?

And so it happened that I accepted Kris' invitation to go to that Better Me event. And I have been struggling ever since.

Last week, after attending another one of those talks, I mentioned to Cai how I felt torn right after attending that particular talk in August. And you know, how I wasn't really publishing my half-written post because I didn't want my readers to think things were okay, when in reality, they weren't?

And yes, you're probably thinking: "Has K forgotten about her New Year's resolve?"

No, and that is why I am finally writing about it. That talk. That Better Me event that nagged at my innermost being. Sigh.

It's not that I didn't agree with Coach Pia. Don't get me wrong. I actually agreed with her on all points. And I must give credit where credit is due. Her talk spoke volumes, and in part, it actually convinced me to work on saving what we still have.

Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo

Taking notes...

I think the two life-changing points from her talk that really stayed with me all these months are these:

"YOU WORK TOWARDS A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE BECAUSE IT AFFECTS YOUR CHILDREN." 
I know, cliché. But really, show me a person who says his or her parents' separation didn't affect him or her at all. It does. And you know, whether you like it or not, the kids bring it with them. It changes them and defines their adult life. I've been asking myself this since that fateful day in August, do I really want this affecting my kids? Do I want them bearing the brunt 'til their adult life? I have the power to change their future - at least the way my kids think about marriage and family. Why won't I give them that?

Nurture your spouse.

Loving unconditionally = sacrifice.

"YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY." 
And that means transcending your personal ego, acknowledging your differences, letting go and forgiving past hurts, starting with a clean slate, and loving beyond words. How hard! I suppose this is where I struggled the most. Loving unconditionally, wow. It's so easy to say, but it entails so much from a person. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw in the towel at once. I cannot imagine myself loving R (or anyone else) when they clearly don't want to be a part of my life. Not that R showed signs he didn't want to be part of ours, but can you imagine loving your spouse in spite of... well, his sins?

And now, 7 months after that talk, I have come to realize that it can be done BUT it can't be done alone. After all, you cannot save a marriage on your own.

But you know what? Here's something I learned from church (I will write more about this on another post): the prodigal spouse doesn't have to agree on saving the marriage. He is not your partner in this quest. This is exactly why all my efforts went to waste in the past. I kept assuming my stand wouldn't work because R refused to save our marriage with me. And it was so easy to give up on him because I thought I couldn't love him the way I did before. You can't do it alone. You need GRACE to fight for your marriage. That's how you love unconditionally - you have to learn from the One who loves us in spite of past hurts, in spite of the many times we fall short of His glory - the One who forgives us, regardless.

So yes, readers, we are working on the marriage. We: God and I. There are a lot of issues that need to be addressed, but these issues are all about me. Not R. He has to deal with his personal issues on his own. I have forgiven him and will continue to forgive him, no matter how long it takes (or how often). And right now, we're friends. We're not exactly there, but we're getting somewhere. In fact, I would say, we're better now than when we were together. And you know, this loving unconditionally business gets easier by the day. When I don't feel like loving him that way, I just think about my kids, and know in my heart and mind that this is what I should do. I think about my own shortcomings and how we all don't deserve forgiveness and second chances anyway, but God gives it freely. So with that mindset, I know R deserves the same even when he doesn't deserve it. Yep, GRACE.

I sit here today, and I know I made the right resolve. I am my better me today, because of this. I've thrown worry, doubt and bitterness in the bin, and have started anew.


I'm sorry it took this long for me to write this piece. I want to thank YBS (Your Brand Story) and One Core for making talks like this possible. This particular talk has really, really made a difference in my life. Thank you to BPI for supporting this Better Me session (and for my really cool and very helpful finance journal), and to OMBU for a really delicious and memorable Filipino lunch (I love, love, love your Binakol!). 

My cool Financial Wellness Journal from BPI.

You guys should try Ombu. I love their Binakol (okay, I said that already)!
Ombu Modern Filipino Restaurant
G/F Sequoia Hotel, 91-93 Mother Ignacia Avenue, corner Timog Avenue, QC; (02) 441-0518

With Coach Pia, BPI and the SoMoms! What a privilege! Thank you, Kris!

Unstoppable!

Nick Vujicic's UNSTOPPABLE Live in Manila!

Unstoppable Faith (May 18, CCF Center) 
Unstoppable Dream (May 20, Smart Araneta Coliseum)

Two conferences you SHOULD NOT MISS this 2013! Nick Vujicic is a wonderful motivational speaker who will cause you to look at your life with fresh eyes and do everything through the Lord's strength!


"Imagine being born without arms. No arms to wrap around a friend; no hands to hold the ones you love; no fingers to experience touch; no way to lift or carry things. How much more difficult would life be if you were living without arms and hands? Or what about legs? Imagine if instead of no arms, you had no legs. No ability to dance, walk, run, or even stand. Now put both of those scenarios together… no arms and no legs. What would you do? How would that affect your everyday life?" - Nick Vujicic, www.lifewithoutlimbs.org 

No arms. No legs. Nick Vujicic (pronounced "VOOY-EE-CHEECH") faces this stark reality each day, but in every picture of him, we see a smiling young man who lives what he calls "a ridiculously good life." Born in Melbourne, Australia back in 1982, Nicholas Vujicic was born without arms or legs from a rare disorder called tetra-amelia. His disability was a daily struggle against the usual challenges of school and growing up such as bullying and self-esteem issues, as well as with depression and loneliness.

But God had a plan for him all along. Nick began to see how his accomplishments were an inspiration to many, and began to draw strength and passion in life from his faith in God. He began giving motivational speeches and started his own motivational speaking company called Attitude is Altitude. He also became the president and CEO of a non-profit organization called Life Without Limbs. From just being a man without limbs, Nick became a living testimony of God's great plan for each of us.

Today, Nick Vujicic has traveled across the globe giving inspirational and motivational speeches on overcoming the challenges of a limbless life through Jesus Christ. He has recorded audio commentaries and DVDs about his life and speeches; and written two books called, "Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life" and the recently released "Unstoppable: The Incredible Power of Faith". God continues to use Nick's testimony to touch the hearts of people from all walks of life and bring the hope of Jesus Christ.

RESERVE YOUR TICKETS TODAY! Call Becca Music Inc. at 910.5352 / 910.5524 or visit www.beccamusic.com/reservations!

Learn more about Nick and his life's ministry! Visit his website at www.lifewithoutlimbs.org.
facebook.com/NickVujicicLiveInManila