#RLStories | PLAY FOR REAL WITH JOHNSON'S BABY

It is no secret that my little boy is addicted to his gadgets. I suppose it is momma's fault. But in this digital age, where even schools encourage and include the use of tablets, what can we do as parents but allow them to use it?

Watching Youtube videos early in the morning.

On the gadget even when we are out of town.

Playing Minecraft at a Blogger event.

Playing NBA Live while at my mom's house.

I try to justify his gadget use by convincing myself that not all of it is bad. There are educational apps that help kids learn phonics, and in fact, RL watches Youtube instructional videos to do arts and crafts.  And I try to implement a time limit.

Testing himself with a phonics app.

Looming while watching instructional videos on Youtube.

But like I said, it has reached a point where I can say RL is addicted to it. In fact, I had to ground him recently because all he did this past month was play on his gadget from sun up to sun down. I am at work most of the day, so this summer, when he is home from his reading classes, he just took advantage of the fact that I wasn't around to regulate his gadget time.

We were invited to attend a Johnson's Baby event recently. And RL was introduced to a whole new kind of play. Not that he doesn't play much this way, but because of his gadgets, he tends to keep himself cooped up at home either with a gadget in hand or in front of the boob tube.

I shall let the little boy do the retelling on the #playforreal event. He enjoyed that day so much, he has been bugging me to move to where we can have a yard for him to play in. We live in a town house with so little play space. The only place he can run around in is the courtyard we share with seven other homeowners. We don't even have a patch of grass, and there is not enough space to ride a bike!

~~~ * ~~~

RL: "My mommy took me to a Johnson's event. I like going with her because I can play with the kids of her friends. She said I should bring extra clothes because I was going to get wet. I don't like getting wet. When we got there, someone gave me an iPad to play with. Yes! I was grounded that day. It was my chance to play Minecraft. They didn't have the paid app though."

RL: "When the program started, they let us out to play in the park. The teacher told me to build something out of the empty Johnson's Baby bottles. I decided to build a rocket ship."

RL: "This was my favorite activity. I like building things."

RL: "Auntie Didi was making a car for K and C. My mommy also helped me with taping my rocket ship together."

RL: "After this, I went to the gardening area. I wanted to plant a tree, but they only had small plants. We have a lot of plants in pots at home, and I like helping out my mommy when she takes care of her spinach plants. This is always fun to do."

RL: "This is my plant. I forgot to bring it home."

RL: "I wanted to play here but the other kids were enjoying the play bins."

Photo courtesy of mymomfriday.com. Thanks, Michelle!

RL: "So I went around and decided to build a bee with the bottles again. Then I went to play with water. I was so careful because I didn't want to get wet. But mommy said it was ok. So I got really wet and dirty! Hahaha!"

RL: "The other kids were all hanging around the water sprinkler. I wanted to play also but had to wait my turn."

Kaye's Note: After this, we were called back in. I had allowed RL to go play some more. At one point, I had to change his shirt because he was dripping wet with paint all over. One of the teacher facilitators told me that RL even managed to lie down on the grass next to the sprinklers. LOL! Here was a kid who wouldn't even dare get himself wet. I guess he enjoyed too much!

RL: "I had so much fun at the Johnson's Baby event! That was my best summer day ever!"

~~~ * ~~~

Studies show that while kids can indeed learn from gadgets in many ways, they learn more from active sensory play. It is through sensory play that their five senses are awakened, and they learn to discover the world around them.

"Active play is integral and essential in the holistic development of children... As a brand, this is something we would like to keep reminding parents of. With the information and products we offer, parents can let their children turn playtime to a time of learning while they #playforreal," says Trina Tanlapco, Johnson's Associate Marketing Director.

Did you know that the brain grows up to 90% of its adult size from birth up to five years old? This is why Fiona Sandoval, a licensed clinical psychologist and play therapist, insists on the importance of stimulation for all five senses, especially in activities like active play where the neurons and brain connections are formed better. "Children develop fine motor, language and cognitive skills through sensory play," she adds.

Ever since that day at the park, RL has been more into sensory active play. When I think about it, he is only hesitant with active play mainly because we don't encourage it, protecting him from getting hurt or dirty. Oops! But he enjoys it every chance he gets.

Because it is the digital age, and like I said, even schools encourage gadget-use, the key to letting kids enjoy both is setting a balance. Today, RL is only allowed an hour of gadget play, and only on weekends. After which, he is encouraged to get his hands busy with other toys and activities - yes, even getting wet and muddy!

Playing with the sand at the beach.

Puzzles challenge him. He has been putting together 100-pc puzzles since he was two!

Building Lego sets is his favorite activity.

Building with big blocks!

Playing with water and learning how to wash his playhouse at the same time! Hehehe.

During the event, I was telling Didi and Cai how last summer, my kids convinced me to get them water balloons. We filled two buckets with balloons and played catch outside in our little courtyard. By the time we were done, I was spent! I remember vowing to myself to never buy water balloons again. I didn't realize I was doing so at my kids' expense. Children need real play. My little boy needs to be out there more.

I am making a commitment to allow my child to #playforreal more. Even the simplest activities can be more enjoyable and meaningful than the gadget - especially when we do those activities together.

How about you? When was the last time you allowed your child to #playforreal?

Johnson's | The #playforreal transformation
Kids learn from gadgets. But watch what happens when they #playforreal.
Posted by JOHNSON'S baby on Thursday, April 16, 2015

| facebook.com/JohnsonsBabyPhilippines

On that Road to a #BetterMe

I had typed the first part of this post at an airport, while waiting for my flight. Delayed turn-around flight, apparently. So I had a few hours to spare. I spent it thinking. And writing this (well, part of it). I had time to contemplate, and all these thoughts kept swirling in my head.

A few weeks months (!!!) ago, Kris (aka OCMomInManila) invited me to attend a Better Me event. At first, I didn't really know what to expect, except that it was a SoMoms thing, and Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo was speaking. Better Me. At the last minute, I took another look at the invite and noted it was about nurturing relationships with the spouse and children - alright, perfect.

I went to the talk with reservations. I must admit, with all that has happened this past year, my heart had given up. I had already decided that my marriage was, in fact, over. You must be wondering, why now? Why has it taken me this long to wake up. Please read on.

For the past 10 years, I have committed to fight for my family. The last three years saw me fighting a losing battle. My heart was weak. My spirit crushed. I no longer had it in me to go on. Part of me wanted to blame God for being silent. My prayers were left unanswered.

Then right before Christmas of 2012, my spouse came home and asked for forgiveness. Yes, R! I was floored. I didn't know what to make of it. I had been living my days without him in mind, without a prayer for restoration. Yes, you read that right. I was putting up a front - for the past year at least. In my head, I knew I had to keep praying, but my heart didn't have the will nor the desire to go on fighting for him. I brainwashed myself - filled my thoughts with the ugly pieces that made up the conundrum that is my husband.

Two weeks into it, one of our pastors prayed with me and told me to take a leap of faith. Another chance. And yet, a few weeks after that, I saw the old R. Same old, same old. And I built walls around my heart once again. No way was I going to let him hurt me this time. The wall went up. The mask, too. Three months later, he left. And you know, I blamed myself for allowing it to happen. I blamed myself for allowing him to penetrate the walls I had put up to keep my heart (and my kids' hearts) safe. My kids were hoping for restoration. And yet, I failed them.

The rest of 2013 went without hitch. We remained status quo - friends, married, separated, and yet, what were we exactly?

And so it happened that I accepted Kris' invitation to go to that Better Me event. And I have been struggling ever since.

Last week, after attending another one of those talks, I mentioned to Cai how I felt torn right after attending that particular talk in August. And you know, how I wasn't really publishing my half-written post because I didn't want my readers to think things were okay, when in reality, they weren't?

And yes, you're probably thinking: "Has K forgotten about her New Year's resolve?"

No, and that is why I am finally writing about it. That talk. That Better Me event that nagged at my innermost being. Sigh.

It's not that I didn't agree with Coach Pia. Don't get me wrong. I actually agreed with her on all points. And I must give credit where credit is due. Her talk spoke volumes, and in part, it actually convinced me to work on saving what we still have.

Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo

Taking notes...

I think the two life-changing points from her talk that really stayed with me all these months are these:

"YOU WORK TOWARDS A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE BECAUSE IT AFFECTS YOUR CHILDREN." 
I know, cliché. But really, show me a person who says his or her parents' separation didn't affect him or her at all. It does. And you know, whether you like it or not, the kids bring it with them. It changes them and defines their adult life. I've been asking myself this since that fateful day in August, do I really want this affecting my kids? Do I want them bearing the brunt 'til their adult life? I have the power to change their future - at least the way my kids think about marriage and family. Why won't I give them that?

Nurture your spouse.

Loving unconditionally = sacrifice.

"YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY." 
And that means transcending your personal ego, acknowledging your differences, letting go and forgiving past hurts, starting with a clean slate, and loving beyond words. How hard! I suppose this is where I struggled the most. Loving unconditionally, wow. It's so easy to say, but it entails so much from a person. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw in the towel at once. I cannot imagine myself loving R (or anyone else) when they clearly don't want to be a part of my life. Not that R showed signs he didn't want to be part of ours, but can you imagine loving your spouse in spite of... well, his sins?

And now, 7 months after that talk, I have come to realize that it can be done BUT it can't be done alone. After all, you cannot save a marriage on your own.

But you know what? Here's something I learned from church (I will write more about this on another post): the prodigal spouse doesn't have to agree on saving the marriage. He is not your partner in this quest. This is exactly why all my efforts went to waste in the past. I kept assuming my stand wouldn't work because R refused to save our marriage with me. And it was so easy to give up on him because I thought I couldn't love him the way I did before. You can't do it alone. You need GRACE to fight for your marriage. That's how you love unconditionally - you have to learn from the One who loves us in spite of past hurts, in spite of the many times we fall short of His glory - the One who forgives us, regardless.

So yes, readers, we are working on the marriage. We: God and I. There are a lot of issues that need to be addressed, but these issues are all about me. Not R. He has to deal with his personal issues on his own. I have forgiven him and will continue to forgive him, no matter how long it takes (or how often). And right now, we're friends. We're not exactly there, but we're getting somewhere. In fact, I would say, we're better now than when we were together. And you know, this loving unconditionally business gets easier by the day. When I don't feel like loving him that way, I just think about my kids, and know in my heart and mind that this is what I should do. I think about my own shortcomings and how we all don't deserve forgiveness and second chances anyway, but God gives it freely. So with that mindset, I know R deserves the same even when he doesn't deserve it. Yep, GRACE.

I sit here today, and I know I made the right resolve. I am my better me today, because of this. I've thrown worry, doubt and bitterness in the bin, and have started anew.


I'm sorry it took this long for me to write this piece. I want to thank YBS (Your Brand Story) and One Core for making talks like this possible. This particular talk has really, really made a difference in my life. Thank you to BPI for supporting this Better Me session (and for my really cool and very helpful finance journal), and to OMBU for a really delicious and memorable Filipino lunch (I love, love, love your Binakol!). 

My cool Financial Wellness Journal from BPI.

You guys should try Ombu. I love their Binakol (okay, I said that already)!
Ombu Modern Filipino Restaurant
G/F Sequoia Hotel, 91-93 Mother Ignacia Avenue, corner Timog Avenue, QC; (02) 441-0518

With Coach Pia, BPI and the SoMoms! What a privilege! Thank you, Kris!