Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Separation Anxiety

Today was a first, after more than two months, for RL to stay home. I suppose he got used to going to the office with me. This morning, as I got ready to leave, he kept pointing to himself, saying... "Me! Me!" Then he pointed at his feet... "Shoes! Wear shoes." Then he did the sign for shoes.

Poor baby. It tugged at my heart that I had to leave him with the new nanny. But A stayed home with him, too. I had to reassure him that mommy will be back, and I sure hope everything worked out well. So far, I've received 4 update calls from A - none of the panic-kind, thank goodness.

Yaya B is only 18. She was in 1st year college, and had to quit after the first semester due to financial difficulties. Computer Science, too! She must be smart, and it pains me that she has to stop. Of course my first reaction to this fact was guilt. I so wanna help her, but I also need a nanny. And the last househelp I had helped send to college left me with not one ounce of gratitude. She left pa when I had needed her the most.

My mom says I shouldn't be too nice to my yayas. But I can't help it. I grew up with one. And I remember crying when she left. And it makes me sad that some are young kids with so much potential! My cousin's nanny is a 4th year college drop-out. She stopped because she needed to help her family. She says she made the right decision though, given that she was able to send ALL her siblings to school after working for more than 20 years as a nanny to expat families.

Yesterday, Yaya B played Monopoly with A. And according to A, she was pretty good (this coming from my uber-competitive daughter who thinks she is best at everything!) Then, I was told Yaya B made a call to her mom in the province. And cried. This is daily chismax for my daughter, who was all too eager to tell me all about her and Yaya B's day when I got home.

"She cried! She misses her mom."

I should think so, it is her first time away from home.

I think back to how clingy I was when my own parents left to train in the US in the 80s. This was right after my brother KW was born. We had to endure 3 whole months without them. I remember sobbing each time they'd call.

I've read up on Separation Anxiety because of the case with RL. And experts say reassurance is key to successful separation. Assure and reassure the child that things will be ok, that mommy will come back, etc. My mom says to just sneak out. LOL. I tried the assurance tactic yesterday and that didn't work. So today, I sneaked out.

Early this morning as I tried to psyche myself to get out of bed, my thoughts wandered and brought me to memories of my earlier woes with R. Each time he left my side, I had panicked. When reassurance should have calmed my nerves, I was doubtful. Woman's Instinct told me there was something up his sleeve.

Looking back, I now feel like I wasted so much time worrying. I could have saved myself with God's assurance that He is in control. That, or I could have sneaked out to freedom. O_o Sigh.

Note: After reading this post, make sure you read this one. ^_^

1 comment:

  1. I feel bad saying this, but it's true you shouldn't be too nice--so that the times you are 'nice' they appreciate it. I guess it's like boyfriends...when you're so/too available they take you for granted. But the girlfriends who are bitches get all the uber nice treatment :) hehehe


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