One Tough Momma.

ok, so where am i coming from here? yesterday, Pastor D spoke on perseverance... on how trials come to toughen you up. today, i was able to apply his preaching. funny how yesterday, as i sat there, i laughed at his illustration on how one should continue on praising God in the midst of trials, only to find myself faced with a trial this morning. so i struggled with it, and remembered his words (or the Bible's, rather): "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you experience troubles of many kinds..."

when i entered the conference room for my meeting, i told A about what Pastor D preached on yesterday and how i am applying it to my situation. PRAISE GOD for trials, because they toughen you up.

if there is one thing i have learned in the past two tumultuous years, it is how i should depend solely on God and not on men. of course there are people sent by God to help you out of your situation, but God wants us DESPERATELY dependent on Him. who is the first person you run to for help in times of trouble? why not call on God first thing as He is MORE THAN ABLE?

TO BE JOYFUL in spite of hard times is a test of faith. but wouldn't you consider it PURE JOY that it is God who can lift you out of your depths of despair? who but Him is your BEST HELPER? A, J, K and i laughed our heads off this morning as i mumbled "Thank you, Lord, for giving me a husband like R!" but when i look back, i smile because can you just imagine the wonderful ways God can remedy my situation? it will be more than i have ever imagined!

i see my problems from a DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. i've said it before but i'll say it again: God is finishing His work in me. He is honing my testimony. i don't even see R the same way i used to see him in the past. i don't even see my situation as miserable (would you believe?). i am THANKFUL for my situation. it has made me closer to God. it has taught me a lesson on unconditional love. God is PERFECTING MY FAITH.

so why do i hope when all seems bleak? when my situation seems helpless? I HOPE IN HOPE. i hope in Him who says "...ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO BELIEVES."

not to say that i do not cry. not to say that i do not get hurt. i have probably had more than my fair share of pain. hence, i am blessed, to say the least. but i am not giving up. my eyes are set on the goal. and I WILL FINISH MY RACE.

one day, when my kids look back at the life i've led, i wish for them to learn one thing: that i lived my life for God, not knowing what's on the next bend, but expecting God to meet me at the end of my journey with open arms. GOD IS MY REFUGE AND STRENGTH.