it was a fellow stander who recommended rejoice ministries to me. today, i received their devotional and it has encouraged me greatly. i just want to say that i praise the Lord for Charlyne and Bob for encouraging standers like me and for reminding me daily that i have victory in Christ. and that regardless of what i may be going through today, regardless of the pain, i do not labor in vain. God is faithful and my hope lies in Him. i am excited to win this battle. GOD IS ON MY SIDE.
want to see how God works miracles in marriages? visit www.rejoiceministries.org
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Legacy of the Pearl
i have been sitting here for a few minutes, thinking of a great title to this post i am about to write. i know i haven't updated my blog in weeks. no excuse there, but my granny passed away thursday morning. :( my grandmother was 98 years old (imagine that!) and although i wasn't that close to my father's mother, the past week has taught me a lot about the legacy she has left for me. no, it has nothing to do with money or riches. she has given me so much more than that.
my great-grandma was on her death bed. she was sick for a while and people around her thought she was already dead (well back then, they didn't have all that equipment to tell if a person is comatose or lucid). suddenly, she was seen groping for something in the air. apparently, she was having a vision or a supernatural dream of sorts... (i am telling this as this was told to me during my granny's memorial service) somehow, in her dream, my great-grandma found herself in paradise. she came to a gate and saw a man dressed in white. she asked to enter paradise, but the man refused, telling her it wasn't her time yet. my great-grandma insisted, and so instead, the man hands her this huge white pearl and says "take this and look at it everyday. you must tell everyone about it's beauty." so my great-grandma takes the pearl and runs home. on a steep hill, she tumbles and the pearl falls from her hand. so she gets on her knees and searches for it. hence, the groping action in the real world.
when she awoke, everyone asked her about the "groping" and she kept mentioning about the pearl. she even looks for it around the house. the very next day, a lady missionary knocks on their door, and gives my great-grandma a bible. this was no ordinary bible! it's cover was as white as the whitest pearl. then the missionary tells my great-grandma to "take the bible and read it everyday. you must tell everyone about it's beauty."
waaaaaaahhhh.... and so, because my great-grandma came to know Christ, she spread the good news to her daughter (my granny!) and my granny, through her faithfulness, brought my gramps and his buddhist family to know Christ as well! and the legacy lives on because now, her whole family are Christians too. my uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews. me. :)
my granny brought her whole family to know Christ as their Lord and Savior. as a young girl back in china, she came to know her Savior because her own mom became a Christian. i've always heard miracle stories about Christians in China, but never did i imagine i'd have my own "Heavenly Man" story.
my great-grandma was on her death bed. she was sick for a while and people around her thought she was already dead (well back then, they didn't have all that equipment to tell if a person is comatose or lucid). suddenly, she was seen groping for something in the air. apparently, she was having a vision or a supernatural dream of sorts... (i am telling this as this was told to me during my granny's memorial service) somehow, in her dream, my great-grandma found herself in paradise. she came to a gate and saw a man dressed in white. she asked to enter paradise, but the man refused, telling her it wasn't her time yet. my great-grandma insisted, and so instead, the man hands her this huge white pearl and says "take this and look at it everyday. you must tell everyone about it's beauty." so my great-grandma takes the pearl and runs home. on a steep hill, she tumbles and the pearl falls from her hand. so she gets on her knees and searches for it. hence, the groping action in the real world.
when she awoke, everyone asked her about the "groping" and she kept mentioning about the pearl. she even looks for it around the house. the very next day, a lady missionary knocks on their door, and gives my great-grandma a bible. this was no ordinary bible! it's cover was as white as the whitest pearl. then the missionary tells my great-grandma to "take the bible and read it everyday. you must tell everyone about it's beauty."
waaaaaaahhhh.... and so, because my great-grandma came to know Christ, she spread the good news to her daughter (my granny!) and my granny, through her faithfulness, brought my gramps and his buddhist family to know Christ as well! and the legacy lives on because now, her whole family are Christians too. my uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews. me. :)
Acts 16:31 says "Believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved. You and YOUR HOUSEHOLD!" this is God's promise, and it has been fulfilled in my granny's life. now, i take the promise for myself and my family (even R's family!). all things will work for us. i know that for sure now.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Even In My Darkest Hour...
I WILL SING
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing
I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing
I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans
You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing
I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing
I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing
I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing
I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans
You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing
I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing
I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Waiting for Godot.
Waiting for Godot -- this has been a long-standing joke amongst my Ateneo friends. after taking this up for Philosophy class in college, we'd always use the phrase when describing things or situations that never actually happen. yes, much like how it was in Waiting for Godot. because Godot never comes.
and so today, i see parallelisms to how i feel about the whole R-US-coming-home-or-writing/calling-home-even thing. it is so much like the feeling when you're "waiting for Godot" and *sigh, he never comes. because the ball is not in my hands, but in his, so i am left waiting and waiting and waiting... :(
i don't know why i am letting my frustration take hold of me. after all, i've been giving you guys all that pep talk about "putting on God's armor" et al. and what? am i realizing i am nothing like the ideal soldier? am i more like the frightened chicken, someone hiding in the shadows instead of standing in the light?
sadly so, this is how i feel today. i even wrote a letter to R this morning -- a letter about... well... letting go. do not get me wrong, it is nothing like giving up. that is not what i am doing! more like letting go of being caught up in this whole thing. letting go of aaaalllllll that waiting and looking forward when all i ever, ever do is set myself up for the trap. and i always end up disappointing myself anyway. so yes, i do not want to wait. i do not want to wait for Godot.
needless to say, i am still hopeful. it is just that, right now... the best thing to do is to let God take all this away from me. because i am not a very strong person. i am at my wits' end. and it is driving me crazy thinking of what i should do. and at this point, i feel...helpless. and i desperately want to do things God's way. and the other day, while talking to R over the phone, i realized i didn't even ask myself WWJD... and it saddens me that i made the wrong move all over again. i want to be able to think about that first, to consider my steps before i even act, think or speak. because without doing so, i feel like i am getting nowhere. in fact there are times when i feel i am moving backward instead of onward.
i am frustrated. and it sure feels like the end of the world sometimes. but no, this is not giving up. this is more like NOT waiting for something that won't come but sitting prettily, happy with all that God has given me NOW... then because i am not expecting him, i will be ecstatic when Godot finally comes. :)
and so today, i see parallelisms to how i feel about the whole R-US-coming-home-or-writing/calling-home-even thing. it is so much like the feeling when you're "waiting for Godot" and *sigh, he never comes. because the ball is not in my hands, but in his, so i am left waiting and waiting and waiting... :(
i don't know why i am letting my frustration take hold of me. after all, i've been giving you guys all that pep talk about "putting on God's armor" et al. and what? am i realizing i am nothing like the ideal soldier? am i more like the frightened chicken, someone hiding in the shadows instead of standing in the light?
sadly so, this is how i feel today. i even wrote a letter to R this morning -- a letter about... well... letting go. do not get me wrong, it is nothing like giving up. that is not what i am doing! more like letting go of being caught up in this whole thing. letting go of aaaalllllll that waiting and looking forward when all i ever, ever do is set myself up for the trap. and i always end up disappointing myself anyway. so yes, i do not want to wait. i do not want to wait for Godot.
needless to say, i am still hopeful. it is just that, right now... the best thing to do is to let God take all this away from me. because i am not a very strong person. i am at my wits' end. and it is driving me crazy thinking of what i should do. and at this point, i feel...helpless. and i desperately want to do things God's way. and the other day, while talking to R over the phone, i realized i didn't even ask myself WWJD... and it saddens me that i made the wrong move all over again. i want to be able to think about that first, to consider my steps before i even act, think or speak. because without doing so, i feel like i am getting nowhere. in fact there are times when i feel i am moving backward instead of onward.
i am frustrated. and it sure feels like the end of the world sometimes. but no, this is not giving up. this is more like NOT waiting for something that won't come but sitting prettily, happy with all that God has given me NOW... then because i am not expecting him, i will be ecstatic when Godot finally comes. :)
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