My Father's Eyes.

How hard can it be to love a person unconditionally - to see someone in a positive light, without falling into the same old emotion of defeat and insecurity that eventually brings retaliation? Painful. That's how hard it is.

It's been a struggle, I tell you. A struggle that's crazy and reminiscent of riding roller coasters. And yes, I've fallen off many times, but my God is faithful and His GRACE is sufficient.

Thankfully, there is change. Somewhere in there. Somewhere. There is change. A seed that has been planted, and I rejoice in it and because of it. Lord, I trust You are able to make something beautiful out of this season. I am grateful to be here. And although I do not know exactly what tomorrow holds, I trust You are in charge.

So yesterday, I've come to realize how immature I am as a Christian. How easily I fall prey to the devil's advances. *sob!* I am thankful however, that God has used it for His glory. That He called my attention to it. I must remember to call on Him first, before anything else. And I must keep in mind (and heart!) to see others through His eyes.

Loving unconditionally. What a lesson to master. 

A-yah! Extra grace required.

I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl,
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world.
But that's all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray:
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,

She's got her Father's eyes,
Her Father's eyes;
Eyes that find the good in things,
When good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help,
When help just can't be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.

And on that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done,
Good and bad they'll all be had to see by everyone.
And when you're called to stand and tell just what you saw in me,
More than anything I know, I want your words to be,

She had her Father's eyes,
Her Father's eyes;
Eyes that found the good in things,
When good was not around;
Eyes that found the source of help,
When help would not be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through,
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.
My Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes,
Just like my Father's eyes.
(Lyrics from the song Father's Eyes, by Amy Grant)

Little Boy, No More.

My little boy got a haircut to welcome the new year. No, not my choice as I love, love, super love his long hair. Alas, my mom had a different opinion. So the other day, to mark the new year, she took the kids to Greenhills for a haircut.

RL now has regular hair. LOL!

This was New Year's Eve! Still with his long do.

January 2 - Bah! Short hair. :( He doesn't quite look like my son. Sob!

Haha! In bed yesterday, before he dozed off, we discussed his new look.

K: Do you like your hair?
RL: Yes. Why? You don't like it? (emphasis on DON'T)
K: I liked the long hair better.
RL: But now I can wear gel and look like Uncle KA. 
K: I thought you hated hair gel...
RL: I like it now. It makes me look handsome.

LOL! Where did my little boy go? In other news, Pot and I were discussing this little boy's capacity to understand situations at his age. We've been keeping a big secret from his older sister, and he was so concerned with how we were too obvious and how we could have spoiled the surprise. At four (he turned four last month!), my little boy is no longer a baby!

Itty, bitty baby boy*...
Daddy's dream, 
Momma's joy. 
Smallest in the family,
But great is the love that you bring... 
To your Daddy and me. 

And, yes, it's true
That you will not always be small. 
And, yes, I know 
You'll grow to be strong and tall. 
But my little guy, 
You're just the right size today 
To hold in my arms, 
To look in your eyes and say...

Itty, bitty baby boy...
Daddy's dream, 
Momma's joy. 
Smallest in the family,
But great is the love that you bring... 
To your Daddy and me. 

*Itty, Bitty, Baby Boy by Rita Baloche from the CD Bless My Little Boy (Available at House of Praise stores)

Happy New Year!

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Hello 2013!

The past month and a half has been crazy. But God is faithful, and I rejoice in difficulty (it's time I beat the devil in his game of discouragement!). December brought many "firsts" for this little family of mine, but I shall not go into detail here. Forgive the silence, but it is better this way. You will know soon enough, I hope.

I shall attempt to memorize and keep Isaiah 43:18-19 in mind and heart. It is a promise I need to be reminded about! Oftentimes, when life gets hard, and trials abound, we forget that God is God, and that He is in control. The size of your battle doesn't negate the fact that God is bigger than it. In fact, He is strongest at our weakest. Isn't that something to be thankful for? Imagine, the bigger your problem, the greater God is? WOW.

So this year, I pray I find my peace in knowing He holds my future. Nothing else for me to do but trust in My Maker. I pray the same for you.

Happy New Year!

A Lost Cause

I know I have not been blogging. And that you're probably wondering what's wrong. Aside from the fact that my daughter A has exams once again (I know, AGAIN!), but as I've said in previous posts, my life has come to a halt.

I still cannot explain exactly what that means, but maybe this will help you figure it out: I have had to deal with someone from the past. Yes, please go figure. And it hasn't been easy. Every single day is a battle of the wills - mine and God's. I've had to ask God over a thousand times for reason - for logic and purpose. For over a zillion doses of Grace (and yes, His mercies are new every morning!) just to get me through each day. My friend M has advised me to take each day one at a time, but it has been more like one minute at a time. Everyday, time just drags. At a pace that I sometimes can no longer stand. What is this, Lord? Why? Why now?

I must admit that I am not at peace with the situation I am currently in. Today, for example, when I spoke to this person, I couldn't help but feel pity. What a lost cause, I had thought to myself . It has been years since life threw lemons at this person - lemons as a result of bad choices. What day is it today? You could have turned your life around. But no, instead, you went on doing same old. And now, at your crossroads, what?

I wanted to say a million things today to drive this person away.

But the Holy Spirit made me see the situation in a different light. Nowhere to turn. This person has nowhere to go.

So today, I pray you find what it means to be loved by God. I may think you are a lost cause, but to God, you are a promise. He loves you more than anyone will ever do. And you are more important to him than you will ever be to me. He loves you. And His love should be enough.