It's Complicated.

I know I owe you folks, but do bear with me a bit. See, I lost my Nana late Thursday night. And if you stumbled upon this post without any links (yay, regular reader!), then let me tell you why.

It's complicated. 

And although my closest friends admit there really are conflicts within families, it still makes me sad. In fact, ours is a little more than the ordinary family squabble. I am talking about lawsuits and warrants, custody battles, etc. And caught in the middle of that crossfight - my helpless, bedridden and unresponsive Nana (until she passed, that is) - probably screaming in her head, begging her kids to stop. 

It happened once, maybe twice (I forget). But once, sometime in 2011 (I think), my mom took us to see her. She had just gotten home from the hospital, had taken a turn for the worse, and my mom wanted us to visit in case she doesn't make it through that battle. But Nana had been living with an aunt, who came while we were visiting, and started yelling at us, A included (and traumatised after that). 

I cannot go into details, given it is a big, complicated and sad story - one I am not privy to even talk about. Sigh. 

So yes, she passed away. And as much as I want the whole world to mourn with me, and tell me things will be okay, I wonder... Will it? Be okay?

Saturday, I took the kids to her wake. And there she was, lying peacefully in her coffin, with a smile plastered on her face. She is probably waltzing with my Grandfather - happy to finally be back in his arms. 

Thankfully, we left without conflict. At least, everyone saw it fit that day to be civil and act like adults. My cousin, who refuses to come home from NYC, says funerals are for us to celebrate a life, a chance to commune, laugh, love and reminisce. That obviously won't happen this week.

And it's extra sad, you know, how my kids never really got to know their great-grandmother. Well, A met her a few times in the past, when she was well enough to have lunch or dinner with us. But RL had never even had the chance to see her - to think she lived just a couple of blocks from the office.

Meeting his Tai-Ma for the first and last time. :'(

I hate family conflicts. Life is short! 

Life is Short

My good friend and sister for life, T, recently lost her dad to cancer. He was given a few weeks to live when they found out last year, but got to live long enough to see and meet his long, lost daughter, R/K, who finally flew to the US four days before his passing.

How sad. But R/K says it was perfect timing. Had she moved her flight a few days later, she wouldn't have gotten the chance to hug her dad ever. T posted a photo of her sis and her dad about two days before he passed. The photo haunts me to this day - it is a reminder of what could be. But it is also a great picture of a father's love. R/K was given up for adoption right after she was born. The story (I shall reserve for next time) and how she found her birth family, is an amazing one. So all these years, she hasn't seen her parents in the flesh (just over Skype and social networks since she tracked them down a few years back).

Anyway, I sometimes wonder about our R and how he feels about living away from his kids. Will he finally wake up one day and realize the void, or will he figure it out too late? God has been good all these years though, but I can't help but fret sometimes. Life is short and our kids deserve better.

Life is short. Find time.

Invest for FREE!

What a great weekend! We had an extra long celebration for A, who turned ten last Saturday. Yes, ten! Where did all those years go?

After a long Friday at the office, A and I finally got to catch Hunger Games. I haven't read the book (I started reading Saturday) so I didn't quite know what to expect. Turns out the story line was too disturbing for A (Yes, I've been hiding under a rock and didn't bother reading reviews) and I wasn't quite prepared with her death questions. But God makes all things beautiful! He meant that movie for good. On the way home, I took her Qs as an opportunity to discuss eternity and salvation, and how a relationship with Jesus was necessary for her to overcome death. A has been attending Kids Church and her foundation, although fairly new (a few years), is pretty solid. But our talk about the movie (and a clearer view of how it is to die, yes, thanks to Hunger Games O_o) made her realize what all those Sunday service messages meant. I thank God for the chance to discuss this further with A! What an answered prayer!

Do you pray for your kids? Your loved ones? Do you pray for their salvation? God promises He will save your household from eternal death. All you need to do is believe in Him - that He is Lord and Savior - the only way to Heaven. I have been praying for my kids, for R, and I know this is the best investment I could ever give them. What's more, it is FREE. 

Beautiful Sunday Service yesterday!

Yesterday, as we capped A's birthday weekend with Church, Pastor D confirmed this with his talk! The message this Sunday was about investing in the future of your kids - and how investing in their faith can spell life or death for them. His call to action was for everyone to get on their knees and pray for future generations. To protect them from the sins of their fathers (and mothers!) and introducing them to God. A sound investment that comes FREE, after all, prayer entails nothing but a willing heart open to God.

"My people are being destroyed because they don't know me. Since you priests refuse to know me, I refuse to recognize you as my priests. Since you have forgotten the laws of your God, I will forget to bless your children." - Hosea 4:6 (NLT)

If you've been reading my blog for years, you will remember this post on Generational Curses.

"...I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected--even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me." - Exodus 20:5 (NLT)

This applies to my little family today, and I have been praying (hard!) for curses to be broken. For my kids to live according to God's will, for God to spare them from punishment. It takes more than just praying for that curse to break though.

You have to walk with God. You can't continue sinning and expect God to save your family from the consequences of your sin. Repent and turn away from evil.

Your children have to know the One, True God that saved them from sin. How do you keep them from the curse of their father's sin, if you don't teach them to love God and shun sin themselves? 

If your family means anything to you, link them to the Church, introduce them to God, invest in their faith!

I've often wondered how my life would have turned out if I didn't know the Lord - if I didn't have parents who took time out to pray for me and my salvation. I've been in the pits, and who knows how I would have dealt with life's circumstances if I didn't have God? I recently got to talk to an old friend, and he had asked how it was with the R situation. After a lengthy update as I haven't seen him in years (we were officemates - R, him and me), he exclaimed how great it was that I had God to hold on to. That my parents took time to pray for me. He wondered aloud about possibilities, had I not been a child of God. I am most grateful for that fact - I am thankful that God has His Eyes on me. And that His mercy allows me to live the way He has planned. I am where I am today, because my parents took time to kneel down and pray for me.

"But the love of the LORD remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!" - Psalm 103:17-18

ARE YOU STORING MERCY FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS? PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN. PRAY FOR YOUR FAMILY. MAKE THAT SOUND (and FREE!) INVESTMENT! IT'S THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN EVER GIVE.

~~~

Happy Birthday, A! Momma loves you! God has His Eyes on you. He will never leave you! He has you in the Palm of His Hand. If you stumble and fall, remember this: His mercies are new every morning.