Time Out

Took the kids out of the country for some fun. I need time to think everything through. It is embarrassing to be in my situation. I do not even feel a tad proud of R anymore. It is humiliating to find out all that he has been doing. I mean, it is one thing to attempt to destroy your own family... But to destroy another person's family too? Hell.

A and I are making good use of our annual passes to Disney. The baby rode the Winnie the Pooh ride twice. Time out has been good so far.

Encouragement During Discouraging Times

Do not let the devil steal your joy.

How many times do I have to remind myself that the devil is on the prowl, ready to attack? I am tired and weary, but the Lord promises to carry my burdens for me. I am down, in doubt, hopeful inspite of the hopelessness of the situation, but the Lord reminds me that my Hope is in Him and Him alone. He promises to lift me up!

There are things I do not understand, and will not even try to understand. I may have given up on the situation, but I have not given up on God. He knows where this all leads to. I will wait patiently on Him.

Hebrews 6:15 - "And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise."

Overheard and More

Yesterday, while having dinner, R's phone rings as he walks in the house with his tagaytay loot. I hardly ever eavesdrop on phone conversations, but the intro to his conversation with the person on the other line caught my attention. So, barefoot and in house shorts, I tippy-toed my way to an upper floor to catch whatever b*ll R was saying. And so I overheard him say, "Pare, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako ginulpi. Hindi naman ako nagchichicks ng may asawa."

LOL! Yea, whatever. I tried to listen in to the whole conversation, but it sounded like he was just trying to convince whoever that he was careful in his womanizing and made sure he didn't irk anyone else in the process. Sure. Tell me about it.

I remember one time, when talking to one of R's good friends, who was then also in an adulterous relationship, we got into an argument because he refused to admit he was hurting anyone. His wife's a good friend and I was trying to talk some good sense into his head. But he answers me with, "Bakit? Wala naman akong inaagrabyadong tao." Sudden amnesia ba to? E asawa mo, hindi tao?

~~~

After dinner, I took A and the baby inside the room to play a little before bedtime (big day today, so must catch our Zsss). My mobile phone rings. Since I do get inquiries on that phone, I decided to pick up even if it was an unknown number.

And I received the freakiest weirdest nyar-to-the-bone call ever. Not that I haven't had calls from complete strangers. I've had my share of calls from women, hopelessly, no scratch that, desperately begging for me to let go and let them have my husband. Those are weird calls as well, mind you. But last night, I got a call from a man - the man. The man who did the deed. The man who is behind R's ugly face.

I really didn't know what to say. Apparently, his friend caught R with a woman who turns out to be his friend's wife. They were going to kill R, but thought about his kids.

(Silence)

What was going through R's head when it was happening??? Did his life flash by? What was he thinking messing with another man's girl????!!! Argh. Not that this hasn't happened before. But wtf????

I'm just relieved they spared his life. At least our kids still have a father. Sigh.

Ok, Ok, I hear Ya!

Was going for the 9am service at the Fort, but decided to catch church service after watching D9 instead. It's not that I've been slacking with my spiritual life, but I was trying to deal with everything the best way I could, without getting hurt. So I took on the defensive, "protected" myself from pain, put on an "i do not give a damn" stance. And when I thought I was ok, deep down I knew I wasn't. This isn't God's way. I was running away. :P

So today in Church, I was reminded that problems don't get solved when you run away from them. Problems don't get solved when you push them to the limit either. Problems get solved IN GOD'S PERFECT TIMING. Yes, what a conviction today's message was - God's conviction. So sigh. I am pulling down the bitter entries about R. He's been asking... no, pestering me to take down the blog because according to him "nabubuking ang kalokohan niya" and that it isn't my business to tell him what to do. :P Ok, so whatever. But yea, I will leave everything up to God. More people find out about the REAL RC anyway through word-of-mouth and "small world" encounters than by googling for his name.

Just the other day, when discussing R's bruises with my good friend T, she was actually telling me how smart it was to have left this blog online. And that even if those entries were entries of yesteryears, at least they provide answers to all those poor women wondering why R never called back, or why R doesn't tell them where he actually lives, or why R doesn't have a phoneline at home, or why R doesn't introduce them to his sibs and folks, etc. Why they eat all that b*ll up, I have no idea. May naloloko pa din pala in this day and age? I mean, tell me, who doesn't have a phoneline nowadays???

Where was I? Oh yea, two months ago, a common friend went up to one of his "girls" and told her to her face she was dating a married man. So yea, I don't need this blog to show these girls the way.

So Lord, I hear Ya! I'm pruning this blog.