Surprise!

Two days ago, my friend A received a private message from a brother she didn't know she had. Well, she knew her dad had kids with other women, and she knew she had a brother or sister somewhere out there... but still, the shock of having been contacted by a sibling you didn't know existed! This got us talking about the future and what it could possibly hold for me and my kids. Not that I will be surprised if it happens. But then, if it does happen, I wonder how I'll handle it?

I've actually been psyching myself up for the come-what-may and the what-could-be. Yea, getting ready for that knock on the door episode in my teleserye life.

Lord, if it does happen, please let me deal with it with a kind and forgiving heart.

Another Case of the Mental Blog

I have been contemplating on writing a blog entry for the past days, but have not been able to find the right words to do so. A lot of things have been going on in my head lately. My current state of mind can be wrapped up into a single word: frustrated.

I am frustrated over a lot of things - work, family, expenses, a best friend, etc. Yesterday, I was so short strung, I ended up yelling at A for disappearing on me in the middle of her homework. I have been contemplating on sending A to counseling. At 7, she seems to be handling everything well, but it looks like she has a mask on, too. Yesterday, we spent 30 minutes looking for a bag she thought she had misplaced at the office, only to find it in the car, right where she left it! I thought frustrated defined the moment for me, especially since I was ready to blow my top with her thinking this and that, only to have one of my good friends catch me off guard with this comment: "You are not frustrated, you are impatient." And she is so, so right. I reflect on myself, my thoughts and my emotions and can only agree that these have been brought on by my lack of patience. Things have been happening so fast over the past month, and I have been expecting the rest to take on the same quick pace.

I have to remember to pull the reigns on this one. Nope, life is definitely back to 1st gear. Slow as slow can be. But why is it that I still find myself wanting an extra hour or two for my days? I feel as if I have been playing catch up with the rest of the world. I am behind on a lot of things. At work, my list of things to do is just too much. I find myself scrambling for that extra day each time I get a cake order. I find myself spending more and more time at the office at night (because I don't have the heart to face the situation at home). And I don't even have the energy to go with my business partner to the next business meeting, because I feel I need to be at home with the kids (in exchange for the guilty feelings I have, since I spend most of my days at work).

So. Does this post even make any sense to you? I don't even know why I'm publishing this one today. I have to remember to write when I find the inspiration. I had a blog in my head two mornings ago, but decided not to write about it now. Hohum, yes, I have been bitten by the mental blog bug once again. I wonder how long this one would last... nyar.

Requesting for Prayers

May I please ask for prayers? Need intercession for something happening tomorrow. May God's will be done. Thanks, friends!

Weathering The Storm

It's funny (in a way) how someone with problems could think it's the end of the world, only to see that the rest of mankind may have bigger problems. I am embarrassed at the thought that once, I assumed no one could have worse problems than the baggage I was carrying with me. Alas, disasters like that of Ondoy open our eyes to the realities of this cruel, cruel world. :(

But I sit back in awe at how resilient Filipinos are. We weather each storm with our chins up. We fall but before you know it, we are up and about, ready to take on the next challenge.

Yes, there are bigger problems than mine. Hurricanes and tsunamis compared to my little storm. Problems like yours and mine should make us stronger. We don't go through it for nothing. I'd like to think I will stand strong the next time a "cyclone" comes my way. If not, then I went through the past ones for nothing.

~~~

Another typhoon on the way, and yet, over 70 employees in our company alone have no place for shelter, no comfy bed to sleep in, no home to call home. My brother and I went from one supermarket to another (and another!) all of this week, looking for noodles, canned goods, bread and the like, only to find shelves empty in some. And now with another storm looming, you can't help but feel weary. Disasters are happening left and right from all over, and it makes you ask "what next?"

(photo on right shows the Noodles bay at Shopwise, Libis; taken on 30 Sept 2009 -->)

~~~

It's late and I have to get some shut-eye soon. Been sleeping AND waking up late the whole week. Emotional stress is killing me (sidenote: heard over the radio today that lack of sleep promotes Alzheimer's! Yikes!). A and I were supposed to watch UP 3D again tonight, but it was so traffic on the way home! So we had to skip that. For the first time in months, we had family dinner at the table together, so that was nice. Life is taking on a bit of normalcy so yey! Who cares about the ongoing drama? The important thing is my children have genuine smiles on their faces. Nothing in this world will beat that.

SHOUT OUTS:
X: I know (well, my MIL didn't brand me detective KC for nothing, hehe). :) Nevertheless, thanks for your private comments. I appreciate them. Will leave you a message on your blog soon.

JNP: No. Will blog about it soon. And I go to VCF. :) Happiest place on earth!