What Matters Most.

R is back in Manila. He's been here for over a week now. When he first texted to let me know that he was flying in, I was a tad hesitant to reply. Over messages sent back and forth, he made it clear that he wasn't coming back for good, and that he was setting up a business down south, so this was just a buying trip.

So I had to brief A on this. Your dad is here to visit, so don't expect much.

A has been somewhat cooperative. Not as much as I had hope she'd be, but I suppose it's her way of coping with the situation. She isn't the same around her dad, well, not the same as how she was before, when he lived with us. She used to be daddy's girl. And now, she avoids looking directly at him. She'd resist, and wouldn't even go near him unless prodded or, worse, forced.

She has retreated into her shell. This little girl has been scarred.

So I am trying to remedy the situation here. R is reaching out, albeit temporary. And the little girl is shielding herself; preparing herself, and avoiding the fall. RL doesn't even care. After a few minutes with his dad, he was his usual, noisy, funny self. When his dad left, it wasn't like he was gonna miss him. But A? She'd rather not open up. The void is there and she has filled it with all sorts, refusing to let her father into her life, just so he can leave it again. What to do?

Last night, I tried to get that message out to R. Don't leave. Not just yet.

But he says life is worthless when you have nothing to do and no money to spend. His absence shall be temporary. Once he's got his business set up, he will hire managers to take over.

Right. Managers.

But then, you're setting yourself up for the fall. When you're away, the devil flies, pounces, chases, et al. Why are you doing this anyway?

Life's bull. (Pero hello, syempre tinagalog niya kasi 'di naman siya inglesero. LOL!)

You don't get it, do you? 10 years of bull and you still don't get it. You work hard for yourself, and yet, why? What for? You feed yourself with sin, and you forgo God's blessings. You tread on rocky ground, and you expect life to be at its fullest? You're missing the point. Fulfillment doesn't come when you're successful but empty. The void can never be filled by success, money, booze and flings.

Obviously, you don't know what matters most.