Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Ties That Bind.

My daughter has been asking about her dad lately. He hasn't visited for more than 2 weeks. I guess you can say that this is partly my fault. Last time he visited, we weren't home, and during that visit, he started talking to my old helper about how my parents pay for everything we need and how I just pretend to ask him for money, but I am being supported financially by my folks.

"Mayaman naman magulang ni Ma'am. Daddy niya nagbabayad ng tuition ni A."

And of course, when my helper told me about it, it didn't sit well with me. Especially because there is no truth to it! I work hard for my kids! I work my butt off for them! I have two company loans and a salary loan with SSS. I am in debt because I have to pay for rent, utilities, tuition, groceries, salaries, credit cards, etc.

And I hate it when he tries to pass on his responsibilities! Anyone, but himself. So that same night, I texted him that I didn't want to be the good and understanding wife anymore. Unless he behaves when he's here, then visitation ends right there and then.

I guess you could say he wasn't quite ready to behave himself. R has this habit of trying to irk me and everyone else in this household. Whenever he comes, it's this and that. He notices mistakes, dust, broken toys, dirty cupboards, etc. Always checking on the negative. My gulay, gimme a break! So there. Two whole weeks and some.

Yesterday, A asked me if she could call her dad. It was a quick call. She just wanted to check daw if he was still alive. LOL!

Then today, she asked to call him again. I don't know exactly what they talked about. She went inside her room to call. And she was on the phone for a good 5 minutes or so. This afternoon, when I went to pick her up from Vacation Bible Camp, we discussed a few things about God and how He is omnipotent. So this evening, as we were having dinner, she recalls how "All Things are Possible with God."

So she tells me, "I want to pray for daddy still. I know God can fix him."

:( My heart just broke. My daughter's faith just threw me off my chair. I am reminded of my own cousin, who, in spite of having a physically and verbally abusive, womanizing father, CHOSE to forgive her dad just because. I suppose then, that I cannot fight against a daughter's love for her own father. I cannot go against the ties that bind.

What do you want me to do, Lord? :(


  1. Oh I loved this!
    I also believe that God can change him, that's the business that God is in...the business of changing lives! Anyways, I still have your Bumbo... I should've let Sam take it to the cousins lunch!
    Loved your post, love love love!!!
    Alexa is such a sweet girl!

  2. God can't fix him if he doesnt' want to change. I am hoping that he can at least be a good father if not a good husband. Feel bad your children ---sana they understand that the separation has nothing to do with what they did or did not do.

  3. Ah. To me, there is no such thing as God CAN'T. Saul never imagined he'd be a Christian, as he's killed so many but he became apostle Paul because God changed him, even when he didn't want to. God is omnipotent. He can do anything.

    But really, at this point (heaving a sigh here), I do not want him to change for the marriage. I just want him to experience God's love.

    I talk to the kids regularly and I hope they know that as well. Thanks for your thoughts!


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