Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Rainy Days and Wednesdays...

Today was a slow day. Staying at home has its benefits, but it tends to slow everything down as it allows you to laze away the day instead of being productive (hmmm, budget presentation on shelf).

I started a project for work this afternoon, only to leave it half-done. So lazy today. Finally got around to doing chores when the sun disappeared. And in the middle of cleaning the toilet, I found my thoughts drifting away to a conversation I had with F a few days ago.

I had coffee with my best friend last week. Yes, my just-married best friend. It was a relief to see him. After all, his single life didn't end on a good note for both of us. Not that we fought or anything, but then of course, I owed him heartfelt good wishes, and that I didn't have at that time (I must honestly say).

So last week was a breather for both of us. We hardly see each other because of work. So when he called to say he needed to talk, I guess I took the invite without thinking twice. And talk we did. For a good hour or so, we played catch-up. Then the conversation went into how our lives had changed throughout the years and how our choices for lifetime partners were far from the prince and princess we used to dream of back when we were kids. Yes, the differences I questioned in his then relationship, now marriage, have started to itch as it inched its way into his and his new wife's every day. Not that I didn't say so, and not that I didn't warn him. But yes, F, you are right. The best advices in life are left in some untouched book on a book shelf in some bookstore. :P

Our coffee date had to end earlier than usual because I had to get back to the kids, since A wasn't feeling quite well already that day.

The conversation flew back into my head today because this morning, as I dilly-dallied in bed, I couldn't help but think about my own marriage and how it has reached almost flat-line in the past months. How the differences have come and stayed. How frustrated I've gotten in trying to see some semblance of hope or change or remorse or repentance. TO NO AVAIL. And then I remembered F's words before we said our goodbyes: "We should have chosen partners with the same background. The same values. Sometimes, love isn't enough."

Sigh. I used to love rainy days. I still do. I just hate it when the thoughts come around.

1 comment:

  1. K,
    Just wondering..have you tried counseling? together? couples therapy? I mean, he still goes to mass with you and is not unwinding your that means there is hope.


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