Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Setting Direction

I remember about 3 months or so ago, when I decided to take a break from my problems, I thought that nothing worse could go wrong... and that what I had to go through then would be the final installment in R's book of wrongs. Alas, I have been proven wrong by recent twists in this, well... apparently, never-ending saga.

I no longer know what to think. My only concern is to keep my kids safe and away from what is happening. Especially A, who is smart enough to understand that something is out of place. :( I couldn't sleep last night. I tried to stay away from the news. I was told that it is now in court. I am all for women's rights, but. BUT! Sigh. This woman is the reason why my children cannot see their father. She has suddenly equipped me with all the reasons to go after her. And a women's rights group is siding with her, negating the fact that she, in a way, caused the break-up of not one, but two homes. Yes, innocent lives of innocent children. If that isn't abuse, then what is?! I am so tempted to speak out. But as with all other women from R's past, I am not like her. I refuse to be like her. I think only of my kids. Heck, forget about my rights! My kids have a broken home.


The baby turned 9 months today. So much for that. R used to buy him a cake each month, so now, we celebrate his birth without R. Fancy how time flies! I didn't even have him in my womb for more than 37 weeks. He still clings to me like crazy. It is flattering. I can just imagine how it will be when he turns 8 and won't even let me hold his hand. So yes, I shall cherish each moment.


So what now? I dunno. I guess I have nowhere else to go but forward. God's prize is waiting at the end of this journey. So I shall press on. I think about the future and what it holds for me and the little ones. I am hesitant, a tad scared, but I know the Lord has my hand in His. God defends the innocent and will protect us from harm.

Lord, rescue me from evil people;
protect me from cruel people
who make evil plans,
who always start fights.
They make their tongues sharp as a snake's;
their words are like snake poison.

Lord, guard me from the power of wicked people;
protect me from cruel people
who plan to trip me up.
The proud hid a trap for me.
They spread out a net beside the road;
they set traps for me.

I said to the Lord, "You are my God."
Lord, listen to my prayer for help.
Lord God, my mighty savior,
you protect me in battle.
Lord, do not give the wicked what they want.
Don't let their plans succeed,
or they will become proud.

Those around me have planned trouble.
Now let it come to them.
Let burning coals fall on them.
Throw them into the fire
or into pits from which they cannot escape.
Don't let liars settle in the land.
Let evil quickly hunt down cruel people.

I know the Lord will get justice for the poor
and will defend the needy in court.
Good people will praise his name;
honest people will live in his presence.

~ Psalm 140: 1-13


  1. You don't know me but you gotta believe me. DON'T COME TO MANILA! IT'S STILL TOO HOT A TOPIC! Kawawa lang mga bata...

  2. Keep your kids away from Manila. None of this is their fault. I stumbled upon your blog because of curiosity, but now I keep coming back because I want to make sure your kids are OK.

    You are right -- SHE is not the victim. She should have known better in the first place.

    As for your husband -- ditch the F***er. You seem to be doing fine with out him anyways.

  3. It really feels so strange that for almost two years of being acquaintances, I’ve never come across this now-renowned blog of yours! It's only now...

    Wow, I haven’t gone far with my readings but it already feels like a trip down memory lane. I just recall the days when I instantly get startled with the sudden outburst of tears and emotions. This blog is a written testimony of how great is your faith in God and how big is your love for that undeserving person. All the overflowing admirations and sympathies expressed by those who visit and read your blog are all due to you, for your forbearance and steadfastness. No matter how disgusting and painful the circumstances that came across your life, you are still unwaveringly fervent and upright. I couldn’t imagine myself being in your worst situation. I might just end up either in jail or in a mental institution. Hay ya... Ish ish ish!

    Well, what can I say for now…. Sa ‘Latigo’, All Bulate Go! Hahaha!

    Just trying to cheer you up... :-)

  4. i've been reading your blog since i've read the news. i felt your pain. i have seen the pain in my mom's eyes when it happened to her few years back. but hey, all this would surely pass. and since God is on your side, nothing could go wrong.

    i just would like to thank you for continually updating your blog. It sets an example to us women as to how to hande situations like this. you are a blessing and an inspiration. just keep your eyes focused in HIM and in your kids. That is the BEST thing to do. that other woman and your bastard husband don't deserve your attention, needless to say even a second of your time.

  5. I was once a victim of my husband's infidelity also. I confronted the girl. All I can say now is that girls who have relationship with married man are of no shame anymore and guiltless. The girl even wanted to beso-beso me in the public. Gosh!!! If I were only Chavit Singson, l can only imagine.

    I pray that everything will eventually be well for your family. Have trust in God's plan for you.

  6. hi again kaye, I've been coming back everyday to know how you and your kids are doing. I posted a comment as 'ánonymous' a few days ago. Anyway, your post today prompted me to assure you that when your little boy turns 8, he will surely still let you hold his son is 11 and he still does!

    I also wanted to share my thoughts on why the women's group is siding with the 'óther woman', perhaps because they thought you and 'R' have separated since that is what his friend said in his interview. Anyway, its really all up to you to assert yourself if the need arises. You may need a lawyer to give you sound advice on what steps to take. Stay strong and my prayers are with you.

  7. God will give you justice.

  8. I'm always visiting your blog now. You inspired me for having strong faith in God. Hope everything will be okay for you and the kids ( hubby as well, sana nauntog na, still wanting for reconciliation, ooops!dami magrereact).

    That other woman said she thought he is unmarried, naloko na naman daw siya for the second time...Sigh..I'm also a woman but I think she deserved that.

  9. I never believed that other woman is a victim. I was shocked she is playing a victim!

    I think somehow, your husband is a victim. He probably believed the other woman is separated already. He probably thought the house they were having dinner is hers. She lied to him. He lied to her. They lied to each other.

    And the tigre is part of the equation. Scary! Imagine what could have happened that day?

  10. I've also been reading your blog after the news broke out.

    I admire your strength and your love for your children. You are such an inspiration to all of us.

    Be strong, you have God on your side=)

  11. i was one of R's colleague when i was still in AFI. i'm on your side my dear. i just hope and pray for your kids understanding and safety throughout your battle in life.
    just stick and hold on with the Lord, leave everything unto Him and He'll do the rest.

  12. So all you girls out there, you should learn your lesson now! Don't believe and fall easily with good looks and sweet words. Most of all, be faithful to your partner. Contentment is the key word. Don't ever think that in this modern day world, you have all the democracy and freedom to fling and sleep with any man you desire, whatever your reason or motive is.

    Save yourselves from all the humiliations, heartaches and headaches it will surely bring you. Most of all, save the family that you will destroy.

    There's still more than a million ways to enjoy life. It's not all about men. It's not all about being in love. It's not all about sex.

    Pray always that you may not fall into temptation. Matthew 26:41

  13. Hi.
    I posted a link to your blog in my FB profile today. I hope you don't mind. I called my post today "The real victims in the Chavit-Che-Richard brouhaha."

    It is in response to a fan page called "Richard Catral for PBB housemate" created by his fellow entourage groupie, Ton Villanueva in facebook yesterday..

    I find it in bad taste for Ton to do that.

    Just letting you know.
    Hang in there.
    If you need to leave your hubby, it's his loss, really, not yours.

    You are still young.
    You are financially independent.
    You can still make a life that is free of all this.

    think about it.
    That's what I thought about when i left my hubby in 2004.
    It has been all good since.

    Peace and light!


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