Thursday, March 31, 2011

W for White Hair and Wisdom

I stand in front of our living room mirror each day, checking out each strand of white hair poking through all the black ones and think, I am getting old. Two years ago, I would have thought I was lucky to be looking so young in spite of all the stress I've had to go through with my marriage. But now, I stare back at my reflection and sigh. This isn't me, I need a makeover. And my eldest daughter agrees, "Let's get you a whole new wardrobe. I'll choose your clothes," she says, "We'll use Ama's credit card."

Who says white hair were wisdom strands? I check out each one I've plucked and think to myself, "well, that's one more brain cell dead, rest in peace."

See, in my family, we've had history of Alzheimer's. I remember stories about my maternal grandmother washing herself over and over again because she's forgotten if she's done soaping herself. And it scares me. It freaks me out. And I make mental note after mental note, just so I remind myself to never forget. It has its downside though, especially when it comes to wanting to forget painful matters of the heart.

Forgiveness is a complicated matter. After reading an old post on forgiveness and remembering how forgiveness entails giving the other person a clean slate - forgetting the wrongs, I have once again been convicted (ouch!). You forgive AND forget. Not historical. Like it never happened.

Such simple words for something so difficult to do.

Ah yes, white hair. It is for every problem I've ever dealt with the wrong way. It may be genetic but true beauty emanates from within and dominates the outward appearance.

The joy of the Lord is our strength. It is by His Grace that we are made beautiful. My prayer today is that I learn to deal with each pothole in my life the way God wants me to deal with it -- overlook and overcome the pain by letting His grace overwhelm.

1 comment:

  1. Found a strand of my first white hair too earlier this year. *sigh* I guess there's many more to come and I should prepare myself.

    Anyhoo, I get what you mean about being scared of forgetting. I sometimes forget if I have entered a room and did something there. Just today, I forgot that I placed my shoes in the trunk of the car, just 30 mins after I did it. Sigh, I'm really forgetful and that scares me. I'm not good at memorizing stuff too. :( Sometimes in the middle of doing something, I forget what I'm doing! Sigh.

    I watched this Korean movie before about a 28 year old woman who just got married and she had early onset of Alzheimer's and she forgot about the guy she married. Iyak ako ng iyak sa movie. It's so sad. :(


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